It's been a while...

It's been a while since I've posted a blog, so you know what that means. It means I say that I've been incredibly lazy and haven't felt like blogging, haven't felt like tasking, haven't felt like living. It's true. I've been incredibly bored the last few weeks, doing nothing, looking for jobs, applying, never hearing back from them, feeling dejected and like I can't be bothered to look for them anymore. I have done barely anything in the last few weeks, having nothing to do has made me incredibly unmotivated. Yesterday was my birthday, and I honestly can't say I even wanted to celebrate it. But I did celebrate it, I had friends and family come over for an awesome night of drinking and eating and banter, basically, and I'm glad I did. It was a great night, despite that I fell ill at about half 1 and actually had to leave my own party. I am thankful to all my friends who came and everyone who wished me a happy birthday, and gave me lovely presents. I can't wait to watch 'Dexter' Season 2, and read 'A Book For People Who Want To Become Stinking Rich But Aren't Quite Sure How' and the Gamer's Edition of the Guinness Book of Records, and to play drums with my awesome drumstick holster, and to play 'Lego Indiana Jones 2' (when an English copy arrives, Michelle got sent an NTSC copy, curses!). And there's more presents to come too. Good times! Not that birthdays are all about presents, of course. But I kind of like the idea of still being able to celebrate your birthday a little bit after it's actually happened.

I'm 22 now. That's absolutely insane. I still feel 15 to be honest. But I feel a bit more motivated to sort my life out now. Maybe not today, because I still feel a bit shit from my mystery illness today. Hell, I've already taken some responsibility and gave the living room a thorough clean to make up for last night's messy party (that sounds a tad wrong). Okay, so I know that's not much, but considering I've pretty much spent the last few months playing XBox and using the computer, it's something. So I will get off my arse, I will make steps to get a job, and I will not let myself be walked all over - I've been dabbling in self-respect lately, it worked for Scott Pilgrim, it can work for me. Maybe.

I will start tasking again too. I have done a few mild tasks lately, which essentially boils down to studying Ada Peach's life, and increasing my pain threshold by having Jay punch my arm as hard a possible. No, I won't be tasking super hardcore or anything, but really, I never did. I just like the idea of having a little something special to do each day. I've already tasked mildly today, of which I will go more into detail on my next blog.

The fact that I'm actually writing this blog shows that I'm a bit more motivated than I have been in ages to be honest. And let's not fuck around here, I fully expect that I will probably have a lapse in motivation sometime soon, because I do this all the time. I'm a bit of a broken record, and this blog entry is an example of that, it's the archetypal entry I do when I I've already lapsed, and recovered, only to relapse at some point. Which makes me sound firstly like a drug addict, and secondly like I'm in a negative headspace. I'm not, I'm simply being realistic. But I'll try my best not to. Doing stuff is far more fulfilling than not doing stuff. Even if you try and fail, at least you tried. I will smile at the the end of a day if I know I've done SOMETHING productive. And it's been a while since that's happened to be honest. So, I'll stop starting and stopping living, just get on with my life, motivate myself, and if I do lapse, remember that it's so much rewarding to do stuff.

Also, I should probably stop rambling so much... But it's been a while... =)