Follow Opposite Gender Magazine's Instructions Week

Thursday night:
Tonight I decided I will begin to undertake my Herculian task. It turns out that on Thursday night I was hanging out with my lovely friend Amanda. Our hanging out was because we're friends by the way, I wasn't exploiting her for the sake of this task in case you think I'm a twat. She asked if she could borrow Igby Goes Down on DVD, which seemed like a perfect oppertunity for a swapola - DVD for a copy of a girly magazine. Of course, she obliged, so I currently have the current issue of Cosmopolitan to refer to when I'm needing advice. Hanging out at Amanda's was lots of fun as usual... We watched Bones, which I'd never seen before, and is a pretty damn good show (it helped that the episode was about the Black Metal scene - always good for a laugh). Anyways, I got home, and while on the computer and flicking through the issue (the computer is painfully slow) I looked for advice... Lo and behold, towards the back of the issue (page 187 for reference), was a page on exercises. One section was entitled 'Exercise From Your Desk' - Perfect!


Go for a sitting run
Sitting at the front of your chair, jog your knees up and down as fast as you can for about 30 seconds. Great for beating that sluggish 'when-can-I-go-home?' feeling.

I was already home, so I can't say it really helped with that feeling much. And I felt a bit weird doing it to be honest, but I suppose that was a feeling I'd have to get used to. Are people supposed to do this at their workplaces? Really?

The second exercise involved squeezing a jumper between your knees (yes, really), but as I'm a lazy shit and had no jumper in the room with me I passed on that one. Onto number 3 then...

Knee Press
Put your hands on teh outside of your knees. Press your knees outwards against your hands as hard as you can, until you feel your arm and chest msucles working. Hold for five seconds, release and repeat 10 times.

This was surprisingly strenuous, especially the amount and length you have to do. However, I didn't feel as much of an idiot doing it, so it wasn't too bad.


Friday:
Page 183 (the back of the magazine was a haven for advice) featured some lovely salad recipies. We didn't have some of the ingredients needed, so my sister Meg and I decided to make tuna salad anyways. It was yummy, and made me feel good... Though I did have a Burger King later that evening, so that kinda fucked up my lunch I suppose.

In the evening I met up with my lovely friend Chloe. She needed a poo. Just thought I'd let you know. We met up with Jo and Dan and we saw The Uninvited. I was expecting it to be shit, but it was actually a lot of fun. Chloe and I had a lot of laughs that evening, though I think the majority of our conversations did actually revolve around fecal matter.

Later I went to Nicole and Alex's, my other sister and her girlfriend (I'm explaining all this on the off chance that you don't know me by the way. If you do know me, you can always copy and paste this to a word document and delete the stuff you know. Sounds practical). We went D'n'Ding as per usual. Nicole said that I'm cheating by not actually buying a copy of a girly magazine, as it states in the book. However, I'm gonna cheat a lot, so it doesn't matter too much. Later that night I tried out the 'Flex To Feel Sexy' exercise. I tell you what, I felt sexy and then some. It was this really weird yoga-esque shit. It involved touching the palms of my feet together, then bringing them towards me as close as possible, then lowering my knees as far as possible. Sound painful? Oh yes, it was. Especially held for five minutes. While breathing deeply. Good times.


Saturday:
Tonight I'm going to sleep well, as per page 191. I had breakfast within half an hour of waking up (actually, my consumption of it breached the half hour mark), as apparently it 'captures my metabolic window'. Sure thing. On my way home I bought some lavender oil (you'll find out why in my next blog). I got a nice little sheet with information about lavender oil on it. I've also taken a few three-minute rests during the day. The rest comes later, so I'll let y'all know on my next blog how my sleep went.

Peace out xoxox

Rivers