Day 22: Be a pathological liar for a day

Let it first be known that I lie a lot. Don't worry, I never lie seriously. I just like making up stupid stuff to see if people believe it. Like saying that Steve wanked in the garden the day before. I dunno why I do this, but I always do, I find it funny to see people's reactions when they find out that I am in fact a dirty, filthy liar.

This love of humorous fibbing became my enemy on this day however. My lies are always so ridiculous, it's not often that people believe them. Secondly, most people I talk to are used to my bullshit by now, so the effect has been somewhat reduced over time. Throughout the majority of the day I said really stupid lies to Jay and Meech. I said LOADS of stuff, but they only believed two. And by 'they' I mean Jay, 'cos I don't think Meech was there for my effective pathological lies.

The first one was a wee bit harsh. Whilst waiting for the bus to meet Meech, Jay got excited and yelled in my ear to scare me. Of course, me being the prick that I am, I pretended that it hurt. That it REALLY hurt. I was groaning in faux agony for ages, claiming I had tinnitus. I really had her going for a few minutes. When I told her I was lying she was not happy. She felt really bad about hurting my ear beforehand, but afterwards I reckon she wished she had actually hurt my ear. I'd have deserved it.

My second lie was a bit rubbish really. I merely told Jay that the weather was going to be awful later. Which it wasn't, but it could well have been, Britain hasn't exactly had the nicest weather lately. But more than anything, it was a rubbish lie, and when I revealed I was lying at the end of the day (I feel too bad ACTUALLY lying), Jay was nonchalent. After the tinnitus gag, anything's gonna pale in comparison. Especially a really rubbish lie.

Jay and I met up with Meech to head to the cinema, and saw a lovely little film called 'Up In The Air'. Well, I loved it, Jay and Meech didn't seem so keen, though they didn't mind it. I thought it was amazing though, a really nicely-told story, a sharp, realistic script, lots of interesting stylistic tics going on, and it didn't have a throw-up-in-the-mouth sentimental ending. Great stuff.

This led Jay to thinking that I was very cynical, as I seemed to only like films with depressing endings, and because I hate 'Love Actually' with something of a passion. So I proved that I DID have a heart under my stony exterior by throwing on the cutest, sweetest, fluffiest, gwidgiest (I may have made that word up) film ever - 'Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist'! She agreed that it was a lovely film, and for once we actually agreed on a film! So, all in all, a lovely night watching the loveliest film ever with the loveliest person ever!

Although, don't tell anyone, but I actually lied about liking 'Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist'... Or am I just lying again? Answers on a postcard...