First of all, I think I should mention my current pride and joy - the Benrik website newsletter has classed me as Benrikian Of The Month! I usually talk about yesterday's events in my blogs, but when I found this out a little while ago I felt I had to mention it today. I'm so proud and happy, I felt like I haven't been the best Benrikian most of the year, but I'm really trying at the moment, so I'm stoked that my efforts got noticed. Thanks, Benrik! And thanks to anyone who's commented my blogs too, much love to all! I do have to be loyal now though, I have a title to live up to... Even though I can't really do the current week's task, which I'll discuss in my next blog...
On the day I'm now chronicling, Sunday, I didn't really do the best tasking job either unfortunately, because I wasn't really sure how to go about it necessarily. But I still tried! The task was to apply what i have learned about insects to humans. Sounds simple, but I wasn't into the idea of shoving someone into a cigarette box and having them die three days later, like what happend to poor Shelly. Plus, I started the day feeling a bit upset about the current shituation (spelling error deliberate (which surely doesn't make it an error?)) my friends and I are in. And the fact that no one was home half the day, and had no plans to go out, didn't help. However, later on, and in higher spirits, my mum and littlest sister came home, so I decided to try and give the task a shot.
I started off by 'catching my human'. This involved running downstairs and grabbing Hannah (who is intensely heavy, no offense to her intended). Human caught!
For 'naming my human', I was planning to call Mum and Hannah different names throughout the day. I had Sally planned as one of them... Hmmm, where could that name have came from? Alas, I forgot to actually go through with this one. Oops.
'Feeding my human'. For this, I offered to feed Mum her lunch, and Meg her dinner, but both sadly refused. I did share a bit of my burger with Hannah though, so I guess this kind of happened.
'Hang out with your human'. Kinda depressing, but I don't really spend that much time with my family. It's nothing personal, and I love them all to bits, but I just find I have a lot of other stuff to do, and what with my weird quasi-OCD need to schedule what I do and when I do it, I sometimes don't find the time. It makes me a bit sad when I think about it, and soon I plan to do something about it, to make sure I hang out with my family a bit more. But anyway, I'm digressing (I would apologise, but this is a blog, digressing's what's often done on blogs). I spent a bit of time with my family when eating lunch and dinner, and watched some 'Friends' with Hannah. I also had a play fight with her (we are siblings after all), the usual variety where we throw cushions at each other and try to push each other off the sofa. I won! Although, as well as being freakishly heavy, she is freakishly strong too. You wouldn't think it looking at her. But then again, maybe I'm just freakishly pathetic. And you would think it looking at me...
'Loving your human'. I forgot to ask anyone for a cuddle, although I did plan to.
'Killing your human'. I smothered Mum with a pillow in her sleep. Nah, I'm just joking, in case you hadn't guessed. I didn't bring myself to kill any of my family members, despite us all joking that I was planning to kill them throughout the week. In fact, I can't even say 'I didn't bring myself to kill them' really, because the thought of genuinely killing them never entered my head. For some odd reason.
What I ultimately learned about humans from insects though, is that, sadly, we don't live for ever. Perhaps Shelly's death was a blessing in disguise, a timely reminder that people close to me will at some point die, and I will have to cope with it. They may be on a completely different scale of devastation, but it's still a lesson learned. Cheers, Shelly! She was like a really little, spindly guardian angel. Perhaps we are insects to you. I hope you can apply what you've learned about us to fellow insects in heaven. Providing what you've learned about us was good. R.I.P.
I still have her corpse waiting to be buried. Must sort that out tomorrow. I need closure, then I can stop mentioning her...
Monday 30 November 2009
Sunday 29 November 2009
Saturday: Kill Your Insect
Today I'm supposed to see if I can bring myself to killing my insect. I guess I was a bit hasty on this one, seeing as my insect fwiend, Shelly, died on Wednesday. Now, I don't think I killed her, and usually I'll protest to being her murderer, but if it means I completed this task... Yeah, I totally killed her!
But in all seriousness, if Shelly were alive to be part of Saturday's task, I wouldn't have killed her. I maybe would have if it was a neccessity, but seeing as one of the options given is that I couldn't bring myself to kill the insect, I'd have settled on that. I'm quite moral like that, and feel bad if I kill an insect, and start torturing myself thinking about how that insect was just about to reach the greatest moment of their life, they'd just won insect lotto, used the money to buy a Tiffany diamond ring, and was about to propose to their girlfriend... And then I kill it. What about the insect's family and friends? And potential fiancee? This is why I really can't understand how someone can kill aanother person in cold blood - a fellow being who they should understand. I realise that killing an insect and killing a person are on quite different scales, but that's not really the point. But anyway, I digress. I was way too attached to Shelly to be have been able to kill her anyway, she was a sweetheart.
So I thought maybe I could just find a random insect, and see if I could bring myself to kill it anyway. That way, I wouldn't have quite as much associated guilt as I would have if the insect were my friend. But, yeah, you guessed it, barely a bug in sight today. Sigh.
That evening I went to see 'Paranormal Activity', which I mention because no one should believe the trailers (or the people screaming and fucking crying in the cinema). It's about as scary as a handkerchief. And if you happen to have a phobia of handkerchiefs, I apologise for the poor analogy. It was a decent film, moderately entertaining and all. But, honestly, 'Drag Me To Hell' was scarier, and that film was a fucking comedy!
Movie rant over. I guess I can't judge fairly because I don't find films scary. I only find real stuff scary, things on screen don't really bother me, unless I'm watching people play 'Left 4 Dead' whilst I'm very drunk. As I did later that night.
For it was PARTY TIME!!! Party at Meech's to be exact, and, despite the fact that some fuckers did some shit that managed to upset us all, it was a really good night. There was a fly or two buzzing around at various points, and I tried to catch it/them so I could CRUSH it/them (capitals felt appropraiate), but I've never been good at catching flies, so I failed. Again. Double sigh.
There was lots of drinking, music, and 'Left 4 Dead' at the party, so all in all, a good time. I just wish people didn't have to fucking ruin it for us, but I probably shouldn't really go into all the details on a public blog, seeing as I guess it's better to just let the situation go instead of make things worse with incendiary comments. And right now, I'm feeling okay about it all, because sometimes bad stuff has to happen for good stuff to take place, and that good stuff will be even better because of it. So yeah, I'm keeping positive at the moment. And I didn't mean to end this blog on a depressing (even though it did get positive) note, but all this discussion is actually weirdly relevant to the next day's task. As you will find out tomorrow (hopefully)...
But in all seriousness, if Shelly were alive to be part of Saturday's task, I wouldn't have killed her. I maybe would have if it was a neccessity, but seeing as one of the options given is that I couldn't bring myself to kill the insect, I'd have settled on that. I'm quite moral like that, and feel bad if I kill an insect, and start torturing myself thinking about how that insect was just about to reach the greatest moment of their life, they'd just won insect lotto, used the money to buy a Tiffany diamond ring, and was about to propose to their girlfriend... And then I kill it. What about the insect's family and friends? And potential fiancee? This is why I really can't understand how someone can kill aanother person in cold blood - a fellow being who they should understand. I realise that killing an insect and killing a person are on quite different scales, but that's not really the point. But anyway, I digress. I was way too attached to Shelly to be have been able to kill her anyway, she was a sweetheart.
So I thought maybe I could just find a random insect, and see if I could bring myself to kill it anyway. That way, I wouldn't have quite as much associated guilt as I would have if the insect were my friend. But, yeah, you guessed it, barely a bug in sight today. Sigh.
That evening I went to see 'Paranormal Activity', which I mention because no one should believe the trailers (or the people screaming and fucking crying in the cinema). It's about as scary as a handkerchief. And if you happen to have a phobia of handkerchiefs, I apologise for the poor analogy. It was a decent film, moderately entertaining and all. But, honestly, 'Drag Me To Hell' was scarier, and that film was a fucking comedy!
Movie rant over. I guess I can't judge fairly because I don't find films scary. I only find real stuff scary, things on screen don't really bother me, unless I'm watching people play 'Left 4 Dead' whilst I'm very drunk. As I did later that night.
For it was PARTY TIME!!! Party at Meech's to be exact, and, despite the fact that some fuckers did some shit that managed to upset us all, it was a really good night. There was a fly or two buzzing around at various points, and I tried to catch it/them so I could CRUSH it/them (capitals felt appropraiate), but I've never been good at catching flies, so I failed. Again. Double sigh.
There was lots of drinking, music, and 'Left 4 Dead' at the party, so all in all, a good time. I just wish people didn't have to fucking ruin it for us, but I probably shouldn't really go into all the details on a public blog, seeing as I guess it's better to just let the situation go instead of make things worse with incendiary comments. And right now, I'm feeling okay about it all, because sometimes bad stuff has to happen for good stuff to take place, and that good stuff will be even better because of it. So yeah, I'm keeping positive at the moment. And I didn't mean to end this blog on a depressing (even though it did get positive) note, but all this discussion is actually weirdly relevant to the next day's task. As you will find out tomorrow (hopefully)...
Friday: Love Your Insect
My attempt at insect loving didn't go to well, it has to be said. I was merely supposed to have a nice cuddle with my insect today, and see if the insect and I enjoyed it. Seeing as my previous insect, Shelly, was very, very dead, I didn't feel like cuddling the corpse. Something just seems a little macabre about hugging a dead spider...
I had a really quite busy day on Friday too, so didn't have much time to catch a new insect fwiend. I had a full day of Uni, then a meal out later that night to celebrate Mum's birthday (happy birthday for last Friday, Mum! And happy birthday for today, Dad!). So, I really had no time at home during the day, except to get ready. After the meal I searched the house for insects. Because my house is being an insect-less shit right now, there were none... Except in the downstairs toilet, where there were two spiders. Fantastic!
Except not fantastic! Because one was dead (I have a knack for finding dead/dying spiders), and one was a slippery bastard, who I tried desperately to grab hold of, but the sprightly bugger dashed off every which way, until it eventually hid behind the sink, where I couldn't get to it! Goddamn it! I'm guessing word of Shelly's death has emerged amongst the insect world, and they're all avoiding me like the plague right now. I didn't murder her though! I bet Meg's been telling other spiders that I killed Shelly... Ignoring the fact that Meg's shit-scared of spiders for a minute...
So yeah, my tasking wasn't particularly exceptional again, but I'm guessing that the rest of this week's not gonna be easy, what with the insect-less-ness, death-ness, busy-ness, and whatever-else-ness.
But oh wells. The meal, to derail the subject, was awesome. Chinese buffet for the win! And the dessert was delightfully odd, being another buffet, this time of ice cream, cake, Chinese treats, and LOTS of pick 'n' mix. Which I guess doesn't sound too odd. But the amount of pick 'n' mix we'd had for desert made it a different-than-usual dessert. It was akin to reaping the rewards of an exploded Haribo factory. Which, I assure you, is a good thing, though possibly not for the workers/proprietors/builders of said factory.
I had a really quite busy day on Friday too, so didn't have much time to catch a new insect fwiend. I had a full day of Uni, then a meal out later that night to celebrate Mum's birthday (happy birthday for last Friday, Mum! And happy birthday for today, Dad!). So, I really had no time at home during the day, except to get ready. After the meal I searched the house for insects. Because my house is being an insect-less shit right now, there were none... Except in the downstairs toilet, where there were two spiders. Fantastic!
Except not fantastic! Because one was dead (I have a knack for finding dead/dying spiders), and one was a slippery bastard, who I tried desperately to grab hold of, but the sprightly bugger dashed off every which way, until it eventually hid behind the sink, where I couldn't get to it! Goddamn it! I'm guessing word of Shelly's death has emerged amongst the insect world, and they're all avoiding me like the plague right now. I didn't murder her though! I bet Meg's been telling other spiders that I killed Shelly... Ignoring the fact that Meg's shit-scared of spiders for a minute...
So yeah, my tasking wasn't particularly exceptional again, but I'm guessing that the rest of this week's not gonna be easy, what with the insect-less-ness, death-ness, busy-ness, and whatever-else-ness.
But oh wells. The meal, to derail the subject, was awesome. Chinese buffet for the win! And the dessert was delightfully odd, being another buffet, this time of ice cream, cake, Chinese treats, and LOTS of pick 'n' mix. Which I guess doesn't sound too odd. But the amount of pick 'n' mix we'd had for desert made it a different-than-usual dessert. It was akin to reaping the rewards of an exploded Haribo factory. Which, I assure you, is a good thing, though possibly not for the workers/proprietors/builders of said factory.
Friday 27 November 2009
Thursday: Hang Out With Your Insect
Considering the events of yesterday's blog, I didn't do any task today, strictly speaking. I would have hung out with Shelly, but she was sadly dead, and I felt it to be a bit macabre to hang out with, and study the personality, of a dead spider. And I did have a look around my house for a new fwiend, not that I like the thought of replacing my dear Shelly, but for the purposes of my daily task. But no! Not a single insect anywhere! I mean seriously, insects are fucking everywhere when you never want them to be. But now that I actually want an insect, they are nowhere to be found! Damn you, cruel insect God! Is this your punishment unto me for Shelly's death? I DIDN'T MURDER HER (despite my sister claiming I did)!
So, even though I didn't actually do it yesterday, I had hung out with her for a bit previously, and will write a few notes on her personality. I feel that, initially, Shelly was quite introverted. She was quite scared of me, and would huddle up into a ball when I wanted to hang out. But I think that I helped her come out of her shell a little bit. As the (many) days went on, she was more playful, emerging from her house for a little run around, or mischeviously covering my fingers in webs (at least I think they were webs...). She certainly developed more personality as we spent more time together, and, if it helps, I was quite shy and scared of her at first too. But we built a beautiful bond as we socially grew together. This made her death even more sad, as I felt I was just getting to know the real Shelly. But I learned a lot about her - she was a quiet soul, scared of the big wide world around her, but all she needed was someone to show her friendship. I feel proud knowing that I gave her that (I don't feel so proud of possibly murdering her, but still).
That night, I went to Jay and Kate's again, although I wasn't in so much need of consolation this time. We had another awesome night. I farted a lot in the front room, which I feel a bit bad about. I swear I only ever need to fart when I'm in their front room. Still, I think everyone was more impressed than disgusted. I feel partly proud, and partly ashamed. Proudshamed, as I hail it!
Like the night before, we just shot the shit and chillaxed all night, which I like. Jay put the finishing touches to the first hat that she's made, and it was awesome! Really looking forward to seeing her next hat as well, in the style of Alice In Wonderland's Mad Hatter. It's gonna be wicked! We also looked at Meech's Fizz Monster stuff, which is amazing, really cool handmade jewellery and plushes. These guys are so creative! They make me jealous, but not in an envious way, in a way that I really admire their skills. Be proud guys!
I also forgot to mention on my previous blog that the night before, Meech bought me the coolest slippers in the world - motherfucking giraffe slippers! Hell yeah! I love them, they are adorable! I can't wait for Saturday night - party at Meech's with all my favourite homies!
So, even though I didn't actually do it yesterday, I had hung out with her for a bit previously, and will write a few notes on her personality. I feel that, initially, Shelly was quite introverted. She was quite scared of me, and would huddle up into a ball when I wanted to hang out. But I think that I helped her come out of her shell a little bit. As the (many) days went on, she was more playful, emerging from her house for a little run around, or mischeviously covering my fingers in webs (at least I think they were webs...). She certainly developed more personality as we spent more time together, and, if it helps, I was quite shy and scared of her at first too. But we built a beautiful bond as we socially grew together. This made her death even more sad, as I felt I was just getting to know the real Shelly. But I learned a lot about her - she was a quiet soul, scared of the big wide world around her, but all she needed was someone to show her friendship. I feel proud knowing that I gave her that (I don't feel so proud of possibly murdering her, but still).
That night, I went to Jay and Kate's again, although I wasn't in so much need of consolation this time. We had another awesome night. I farted a lot in the front room, which I feel a bit bad about. I swear I only ever need to fart when I'm in their front room. Still, I think everyone was more impressed than disgusted. I feel partly proud, and partly ashamed. Proudshamed, as I hail it!
Like the night before, we just shot the shit and chillaxed all night, which I like. Jay put the finishing touches to the first hat that she's made, and it was awesome! Really looking forward to seeing her next hat as well, in the style of Alice In Wonderland's Mad Hatter. It's gonna be wicked! We also looked at Meech's Fizz Monster stuff, which is amazing, really cool handmade jewellery and plushes. These guys are so creative! They make me jealous, but not in an envious way, in a way that I really admire their skills. Be proud guys!
I also forgot to mention on my previous blog that the night before, Meech bought me the coolest slippers in the world - motherfucking giraffe slippers! Hell yeah! I love them, they are adorable! I can't wait for Saturday night - party at Meech's with all my favourite homies!
Thursday 26 November 2009
Wednesday: Feed Your Insect
Two blog entries in one day? Selfish bastard! I know that's what you're thinking! Well, I could have put them into one blog, but my extreme pedanticness means that I simply won't allow myself to do that. *Sigh*
Anyways, Wednesday was dedicated to feeding my new, pint-size (if that) friend, Shelly! I had googled the day before to see what spiders eat, which is usually other spiders and flies I think (I have a memory like a sieve, sorry). Well, there were no other spiders or flies around to feed my friend with, and I'd have to be looking for dead spiders, in case the intended prey became the predator. For breakfast I had tasty Raisin Oats And More (stupid name, yes, but oh, so delicious). I put a bit of all the various components (one nut cluster, one oat flake, one raisin) of this complex cereal into Shelly's home to see what she'd like. The results? None of them I think. Okay, so if she did nibble on them it would be barely viewable to the human eye, considering how tiny she is, but still. I tried actively feeding her by putting them closer to her, but I don't think she dug Raisin Oats Or More. Shame, it's delicious!
For lunch, I had Morrison's chicken noodle soup with Italian style sauce (so, so good!), with bread and butter. Mmmmm. I don't know if spiders can handle liquids or not, so I didn't feed her any of the soup. But I thought that a piece of bread and butter wouldn't go amiss! So I put a chunk into her house for her to enjoy.
Later, I got rid of the chunk (I expected the whole thing gone, but no! Shelly's a picky eater) and played with her a bit. She's quite fun, but kind of limited, and conversation is sparse, to say the least. I was scared she didn't like her home, but she always crawled back into it when I left it there for her. I was also scared that she hadn't eaten, and that I was starving her by feeding her the wrong foods. I remember reading, however, that spiders are meat eaters, and so far I'd fed her stuff which distinctly wasn't meat. So, I tore off a small piece of ham and placed it in her house.
But then, things started to all get like a quadruple-speed Marley And Me, with a spider instead of a dog (how Marley And Me should have been if you ask me...). I was preparing to go to Jay and Kate's, and bring Shelly along with me (as mentioned in my previous blog entry). But she seemed to be walking funny. Kind of hobbling around, like there was something wrong with her leg, or legs. But, I knew that Jay and Meech knew first aid, which I'm sure could quite easily be applied to a spider. So, off I went, Shelly in tow.
Tragedy struck. Sadly, on the way to Jay and Kate's, at roughly 5:30pm, Shelly died. Cause of death, unknown. Could have been the cold from being outside, but spiders are always outside, so that's blatantly not it. Did her gammy leg kill her? Quite possibly. Progressive lung cancer from living inside a cigarette box? Do spiders even have lungs? Or was it what I feared the most, lack of food? I was hoping maybe she found some snacky delights on her house excursion the previous day. But only she (and whatever she ate, if she did eat) will ever know.
I considered an autopsy, but I figured things were just best left as they were. I mean, what if she was injecting hard drugs and had died from an overdose? I didn't want my view of lovely Shelly tainted, so things were best left alone.
The saddest part is, she never even got to meet my friends. All they saw was her corpse. But Shelly was excited to see them, and I like to think she died happy.
Fortunately, my friends are amazing, and consoled me in this time of heartbreak with an awesome night. We had battered sausage and chips (comfort eating for me), made stuff (well, Jay, Meech and Chris did), talked about everything, and had a nice chill night. I even tried to convert my friends to the Benrik cult by showing them my Diary. Chris seemed very interested. I didn't even think about poor Shelly for the night, instead I just laughed, loved and lived with my friends. It's what Shelly would have wanted. Thank you Jay, Kate, Meech, Chris, Emily, Anabelle, Dani, and Lisa for all contributing to one awesome night!
The only thing I questioned is, what now? Do I find a new friend, a replacement? Or do I say goodbye to insect befriendin' week, and move on to pastures new? Whatever I do... I did it for you Shelly.
R.I.P. Shelly, 2009-2009
The greatest pet spider I've ever owned.
Anyways, Wednesday was dedicated to feeding my new, pint-size (if that) friend, Shelly! I had googled the day before to see what spiders eat, which is usually other spiders and flies I think (I have a memory like a sieve, sorry). Well, there were no other spiders or flies around to feed my friend with, and I'd have to be looking for dead spiders, in case the intended prey became the predator. For breakfast I had tasty Raisin Oats And More (stupid name, yes, but oh, so delicious). I put a bit of all the various components (one nut cluster, one oat flake, one raisin) of this complex cereal into Shelly's home to see what she'd like. The results? None of them I think. Okay, so if she did nibble on them it would be barely viewable to the human eye, considering how tiny she is, but still. I tried actively feeding her by putting them closer to her, but I don't think she dug Raisin Oats Or More. Shame, it's delicious!
For lunch, I had Morrison's chicken noodle soup with Italian style sauce (so, so good!), with bread and butter. Mmmmm. I don't know if spiders can handle liquids or not, so I didn't feed her any of the soup. But I thought that a piece of bread and butter wouldn't go amiss! So I put a chunk into her house for her to enjoy.
Later, I got rid of the chunk (I expected the whole thing gone, but no! Shelly's a picky eater) and played with her a bit. She's quite fun, but kind of limited, and conversation is sparse, to say the least. I was scared she didn't like her home, but she always crawled back into it when I left it there for her. I was also scared that she hadn't eaten, and that I was starving her by feeding her the wrong foods. I remember reading, however, that spiders are meat eaters, and so far I'd fed her stuff which distinctly wasn't meat. So, I tore off a small piece of ham and placed it in her house.
But then, things started to all get like a quadruple-speed Marley And Me, with a spider instead of a dog (how Marley And Me should have been if you ask me...). I was preparing to go to Jay and Kate's, and bring Shelly along with me (as mentioned in my previous blog entry). But she seemed to be walking funny. Kind of hobbling around, like there was something wrong with her leg, or legs. But, I knew that Jay and Meech knew first aid, which I'm sure could quite easily be applied to a spider. So, off I went, Shelly in tow.
Tragedy struck. Sadly, on the way to Jay and Kate's, at roughly 5:30pm, Shelly died. Cause of death, unknown. Could have been the cold from being outside, but spiders are always outside, so that's blatantly not it. Did her gammy leg kill her? Quite possibly. Progressive lung cancer from living inside a cigarette box? Do spiders even have lungs? Or was it what I feared the most, lack of food? I was hoping maybe she found some snacky delights on her house excursion the previous day. But only she (and whatever she ate, if she did eat) will ever know.
I considered an autopsy, but I figured things were just best left as they were. I mean, what if she was injecting hard drugs and had died from an overdose? I didn't want my view of lovely Shelly tainted, so things were best left alone.
The saddest part is, she never even got to meet my friends. All they saw was her corpse. But Shelly was excited to see them, and I like to think she died happy.
Fortunately, my friends are amazing, and consoled me in this time of heartbreak with an awesome night. We had battered sausage and chips (comfort eating for me), made stuff (well, Jay, Meech and Chris did), talked about everything, and had a nice chill night. I even tried to convert my friends to the Benrik cult by showing them my Diary. Chris seemed very interested. I didn't even think about poor Shelly for the night, instead I just laughed, loved and lived with my friends. It's what Shelly would have wanted. Thank you Jay, Kate, Meech, Chris, Emily, Anabelle, Dani, and Lisa for all contributing to one awesome night!
The only thing I questioned is, what now? Do I find a new friend, a replacement? Or do I say goodbye to insect befriendin' week, and move on to pastures new? Whatever I do... I did it for you Shelly.
R.I.P. Shelly, 2009-2009
The greatest pet spider I've ever owned.
Tuesday: Name Your Insect
Nice, simple task today. Far easier than catching an insect anyway, although that may just be me and my spectacular incompetence at doing simple things. All I have to do is name my pet spider. Simples!
So, after I'd woken up properly and my brain was functioning enough to think of decent names. I'd been thinking previously about what to name it, thinking up obvious names such as 'Shelhob', or 'Peter', as in 'Peter Parker', as in 'Spider-Man'. But I saved the big moment for today, as per instructed. I picked up my spider's elegantly crafted home, opened it, and stared at my fwiend for a few minutes. The first step in naming something is knowing the sex. I guess I could have gone for an adrogynous name like Jamie, or Alex, but I figured it'd be a nice idea to get to know my spider's gender anyway, so I could know whether to refer to it as 'he' or 'she'. It certainly had it's masculine qualities, as I often tend to think of spiders as male anyway (not really sure why). But I stared deep into it's eyes. Yes! It was female! I knew for sure! Okay, I didn't know for sure, I don't really know anything for sure. But I think it is a she.
So, I had to think of a female name. Lucy? No. Sally? Maybe. Robert? Definitely no. But Sally was close. Yes. I was thinking Sally, or... Shelly! Yes. Sally? Shelly? Shelly! Yes! (That probably doesn't read as well as it did in my head, my apologies.) Maybe I was thinking of Shelly because of the aforementioned Shelhob (I'm not sure if that's how you spell it, I don't even like LOTR (blasphemy, I know)). But I didn't care. Shelly felt right. She is officially named Shelly.
I left for Uni and returned home and - GASP! - Shelly had escaped from her house! NOOOOO!!! Shelly, being the muscly mofo she apparently was, must have pushed open the door of her house and escaped. I looked around. But no. Shelly was gone. Sad times. I moped around the house for a bit. But moping does not bring back my beautiful Shelly.
Later that night, afetr a bit of time on the XBox, I looked up to the ceiling. Oh my God! Was it? I think it was! A spider was crawling on the ceiling. I reached up and pulled down the beast. Yes! I think it was Shelly! Or at least makeshift Shelly. Shelly 2. I'm sure it was Shelly though! She's back!
I kept a close eye on her all night so that she didn't escape again. I let her out of her house to play, but wouldn't let her stray too far away. At one point I swear she bit my thumb. I had her on the tip of my thumb and I felt a sting and her legs started frantically waving. But I don't think she did bite me (despite two sentences ago swearing she did), I think I'm just paranoid. I texted my friend Jay, who knows everything, to enquire about it. She knows every type of spider that can bite in the UK, so she was the perfect person to text. She wasn't sure on the exact type of spider I had, probably because I'm horrible at describing and because it was over text, but, with plans to see Jay and other friends the next day, I would introduce them all to my new friend... SHELLY!
So, after I'd woken up properly and my brain was functioning enough to think of decent names. I'd been thinking previously about what to name it, thinking up obvious names such as 'Shelhob', or 'Peter', as in 'Peter Parker', as in 'Spider-Man'. But I saved the big moment for today, as per instructed. I picked up my spider's elegantly crafted home, opened it, and stared at my fwiend for a few minutes. The first step in naming something is knowing the sex. I guess I could have gone for an adrogynous name like Jamie, or Alex, but I figured it'd be a nice idea to get to know my spider's gender anyway, so I could know whether to refer to it as 'he' or 'she'. It certainly had it's masculine qualities, as I often tend to think of spiders as male anyway (not really sure why). But I stared deep into it's eyes. Yes! It was female! I knew for sure! Okay, I didn't know for sure, I don't really know anything for sure. But I think it is a she.
So, I had to think of a female name. Lucy? No. Sally? Maybe. Robert? Definitely no. But Sally was close. Yes. I was thinking Sally, or... Shelly! Yes. Sally? Shelly? Shelly! Yes! (That probably doesn't read as well as it did in my head, my apologies.) Maybe I was thinking of Shelly because of the aforementioned Shelhob (I'm not sure if that's how you spell it, I don't even like LOTR (blasphemy, I know)). But I didn't care. Shelly felt right. She is officially named Shelly.
I left for Uni and returned home and - GASP! - Shelly had escaped from her house! NOOOOO!!! Shelly, being the muscly mofo she apparently was, must have pushed open the door of her house and escaped. I looked around. But no. Shelly was gone. Sad times. I moped around the house for a bit. But moping does not bring back my beautiful Shelly.
Later that night, afetr a bit of time on the XBox, I looked up to the ceiling. Oh my God! Was it? I think it was! A spider was crawling on the ceiling. I reached up and pulled down the beast. Yes! I think it was Shelly! Or at least makeshift Shelly. Shelly 2. I'm sure it was Shelly though! She's back!
I kept a close eye on her all night so that she didn't escape again. I let her out of her house to play, but wouldn't let her stray too far away. At one point I swear she bit my thumb. I had her on the tip of my thumb and I felt a sting and her legs started frantically waving. But I don't think she did bite me (despite two sentences ago swearing she did), I think I'm just paranoid. I texted my friend Jay, who knows everything, to enquire about it. She knows every type of spider that can bite in the UK, so she was the perfect person to text. She wasn't sure on the exact type of spider I had, probably because I'm horrible at describing and because it was over text, but, with plans to see Jay and other friends the next day, I would introduce them all to my new friend... SHELLY!
Tuesday 24 November 2009
Week 48: This week, make friends with an insect. Monday - Catch your insect
YASSSSS!!! I've been looking forward to this week. Why? Well, I get to make friends with an insect! YASSSS!!!! I've been a lifelong friend to the insects - I often attract little 'fwiends', as I like to call them. Usually they're flying insects. But still. I just liked the idea of being friends with an insect.
Plus, the picture of the caterpillar on the page is fucking adorable!
Also, this is a task which seperates out smaller tasks onto seperate days, which I liked. So this is Monday, where I was simply required to catch my insect fwiend.
I initially wanted to make friends with a caterpillar, simply because of the adorable caterpillar in the Diary. However, I realised that caterpillars don't often come by these parts, so would be quite a challenge to find. Before I went about catching an insect though, I had to make sure it had a little house to stay in. I needed something small, and air-holeable (yes, that is a real word. I insist it is). I decided a cigarette box would be a good size, roughly. So I used a cigarette box. I don't smoke, but I still had the cigarette box left over from chain-smoking during Ugly Week, which I never blogged about. I gave the insects new house some airholes by using a needle and some pinpoint (see what I did there? Eh? Eh?) precision. I intended to keep the top of the box usually open anyway, but I didn't want my insect escaping at night time. Also, I sprayed the box/house with deodorant to make it smell nice, but this didn't last long. It still smells fucking horrible. But I tried. The house also has a picture of lung cancer on the back, which isn't all too pleasant. I'm sorry little fwiend, if I can find you a better house you will have a better house!
Finding an insect was the tricky part. I found but two in the house (my house, that is, not the insect's house) - a dead-looking spider in the living room, and a weird-looking spider in the kitchen. I decided to go for the dead-looking spider, as it seemed slightly safer. It's worth knowing that I'm mildly scared of spiders. Not overtly so, but big ones definitely freak me out. Fortunately, this one was tiny. It was really fucking high up though, so it took some effort to get it down. After multiple failed attempts I ended up using one of those squeezy robot arm toy things (I'm good at descriptions) to get it down. I inhabited it safely in it's home, and... well. Didn't do much with it. It was curled up into a ball and didn't do anything. Yup, it was dead.
However, a saving grace came along when I saw a nice, slightly big spider crawling on the front door later that night. YASSSS!!! So I scooped up the little fella. It seemed scared at first, and refused to come out of a ball. However, it definitely wasn't dead. I feel like I didn't make the best first impression, I should have been more gentle, but was mildly scared. But then, that's one of the purposes of this activity, to become friends with something that is not initially likeable.
But I would never befriend a slug. No way. Seriously, fuck slugs and all that they stand for.
But you're not a slug, lil' spider friend! And I promise I will be more gentle with you and learn to love you! In fact I'd already grown slightly attached. I tucked my eight-legged friend up (so, kept it in it's box, basically), and even said goodnight and blew it a kiss.
I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship...
Plus, the picture of the caterpillar on the page is fucking adorable!
Also, this is a task which seperates out smaller tasks onto seperate days, which I liked. So this is Monday, where I was simply required to catch my insect fwiend.
I initially wanted to make friends with a caterpillar, simply because of the adorable caterpillar in the Diary. However, I realised that caterpillars don't often come by these parts, so would be quite a challenge to find. Before I went about catching an insect though, I had to make sure it had a little house to stay in. I needed something small, and air-holeable (yes, that is a real word. I insist it is). I decided a cigarette box would be a good size, roughly. So I used a cigarette box. I don't smoke, but I still had the cigarette box left over from chain-smoking during Ugly Week, which I never blogged about. I gave the insects new house some airholes by using a needle and some pinpoint (see what I did there? Eh? Eh?) precision. I intended to keep the top of the box usually open anyway, but I didn't want my insect escaping at night time. Also, I sprayed the box/house with deodorant to make it smell nice, but this didn't last long. It still smells fucking horrible. But I tried. The house also has a picture of lung cancer on the back, which isn't all too pleasant. I'm sorry little fwiend, if I can find you a better house you will have a better house!
Finding an insect was the tricky part. I found but two in the house (my house, that is, not the insect's house) - a dead-looking spider in the living room, and a weird-looking spider in the kitchen. I decided to go for the dead-looking spider, as it seemed slightly safer. It's worth knowing that I'm mildly scared of spiders. Not overtly so, but big ones definitely freak me out. Fortunately, this one was tiny. It was really fucking high up though, so it took some effort to get it down. After multiple failed attempts I ended up using one of those squeezy robot arm toy things (I'm good at descriptions) to get it down. I inhabited it safely in it's home, and... well. Didn't do much with it. It was curled up into a ball and didn't do anything. Yup, it was dead.
However, a saving grace came along when I saw a nice, slightly big spider crawling on the front door later that night. YASSSS!!! So I scooped up the little fella. It seemed scared at first, and refused to come out of a ball. However, it definitely wasn't dead. I feel like I didn't make the best first impression, I should have been more gentle, but was mildly scared. But then, that's one of the purposes of this activity, to become friends with something that is not initially likeable.
But I would never befriend a slug. No way. Seriously, fuck slugs and all that they stand for.
But you're not a slug, lil' spider friend! And I promise I will be more gentle with you and learn to love you! In fact I'd already grown slightly attached. I tucked my eight-legged friend up (so, kept it in it's box, basically), and even said goodnight and blew it a kiss.
I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship...
Monday 23 November 2009
Week 47: Non-verbal communication week
I was not looking forward to this week, to be honest. The task for this week was for all communication to be... well, non-verbal. So I wouldn't be able to speak. Not fun. Well, I truly went all out this week and... spoke. A lot. Sorry, Benrik!
The thing was, I had no good days to do this. On Monday I went to the cinema with Amanda. On Tuesday I had to prepare a presentation, then went to Jay and Kate's. On Wednesday I went to Jamie's. On Thursday I had to do a presentation, then went to a party. On Friday, I had to do group work in class. On Saturday I had band practice and then went to see Nicole and Alex, then later saw Jay, Meech and Kate. And on Sunday I went to the cinema with those last three lovely people. Yes, I could have attempted to do this around my friends, but, quite frankly, didn't want to. I wanted to talk to them. So I did.
I actually attempted it on Wednesday, when I had a free day planned. Meg broke the news to me though that she was losing one of her jobs, and, as hard as I tried not to, I felt it would be more appropriate to speak. So I spent about fifteen minutes succesfully non-verbally communicating. I was also gonna try Friday, but I'd planned to see Rosie on the bus, and was too hungover to give a shit about the task. Still, I did ten minutes!
These ten minutes were when I spoke to Meg on the morning of Wednesday. Okay, so the attempt at non-verbal communication was fucked from the outset, seeing as Meg knocked on the bathroom door whilst I was taking a shower, demanding I hurry up and asking when I'd be ready. Well, I can't really non-verbally communicate if she can't see me, and I can't really text her if I'm in the shower. But then, I thought, in the Diary it says, and I quote, "Only speak if strictly necessary". So I guess this was sort of necessary.
After that, I went to see Meg, showing her the Diary so she could see why I wasn't speaking. She immediately broke the news of her losing her job, but I stayed silent, communicating (poorly) with hand gestures and the occasional written word. At one point she said that it was kind of hard to have a conversation with me while I was staying completely silent, so I decided to speak. I spoke about this for a bit, and after Meg left, I decided I would spend the rest of the day silent. But, lo and behold, I get a phone call. I picked it up and stayed initially silent to see if they'd still reply (is it possible to reply to something that's never been said?) But I felt bad, so I spoke. It was my friend Jamie, and he asked if I wanted to come over to his later. I said yes, and declared that my attempted non-verbal communication day was completely fucked. Oh well. I gave it a shot, which is more than I can say for a lot of the previous weeks.
The Diary handily had a page to write down things I found I couldn't communicate without words (pre-written examples on page: "Help, police!" and "I'd like to remortgage on the 7.9% rate APR") and things I found I could communicate without words (examples: "Nice weather we're having", "I fancy you", and "I want a divorce").
Things I found I could not communicate without words:
"What will become of Dawn's?"
Talking from the shower
Having an important conversation
Things I found I could communicate non-verbally:
"I had to talk to you while in the shower." (Took some effort to get across though.)
"I love you too." (This wasn't incestuous, it was in reply to something she saw on Facebook.)
"I will not do this all week. Just today."
That last one is what I said when talking about doing this task. Alas, I lied. I should have said "I will not do this all week. Just over the next ten minutes. Badly."
The thing was, I had no good days to do this. On Monday I went to the cinema with Amanda. On Tuesday I had to prepare a presentation, then went to Jay and Kate's. On Wednesday I went to Jamie's. On Thursday I had to do a presentation, then went to a party. On Friday, I had to do group work in class. On Saturday I had band practice and then went to see Nicole and Alex, then later saw Jay, Meech and Kate. And on Sunday I went to the cinema with those last three lovely people. Yes, I could have attempted to do this around my friends, but, quite frankly, didn't want to. I wanted to talk to them. So I did.
I actually attempted it on Wednesday, when I had a free day planned. Meg broke the news to me though that she was losing one of her jobs, and, as hard as I tried not to, I felt it would be more appropriate to speak. So I spent about fifteen minutes succesfully non-verbally communicating. I was also gonna try Friday, but I'd planned to see Rosie on the bus, and was too hungover to give a shit about the task. Still, I did ten minutes!
These ten minutes were when I spoke to Meg on the morning of Wednesday. Okay, so the attempt at non-verbal communication was fucked from the outset, seeing as Meg knocked on the bathroom door whilst I was taking a shower, demanding I hurry up and asking when I'd be ready. Well, I can't really non-verbally communicate if she can't see me, and I can't really text her if I'm in the shower. But then, I thought, in the Diary it says, and I quote, "Only speak if strictly necessary". So I guess this was sort of necessary.
After that, I went to see Meg, showing her the Diary so she could see why I wasn't speaking. She immediately broke the news of her losing her job, but I stayed silent, communicating (poorly) with hand gestures and the occasional written word. At one point she said that it was kind of hard to have a conversation with me while I was staying completely silent, so I decided to speak. I spoke about this for a bit, and after Meg left, I decided I would spend the rest of the day silent. But, lo and behold, I get a phone call. I picked it up and stayed initially silent to see if they'd still reply (is it possible to reply to something that's never been said?) But I felt bad, so I spoke. It was my friend Jamie, and he asked if I wanted to come over to his later. I said yes, and declared that my attempted non-verbal communication day was completely fucked. Oh well. I gave it a shot, which is more than I can say for a lot of the previous weeks.
The Diary handily had a page to write down things I found I couldn't communicate without words (pre-written examples on page: "Help, police!" and "I'd like to remortgage on the 7.9% rate APR") and things I found I could communicate without words (examples: "Nice weather we're having", "I fancy you", and "I want a divorce").
Things I found I could not communicate without words:
"What will become of Dawn's?"
Talking from the shower
Having an important conversation
Things I found I could communicate non-verbally:
"I had to talk to you while in the shower." (Took some effort to get across though.)
"I love you too." (This wasn't incestuous, it was in reply to something she saw on Facebook.)
"I will not do this all week. Just today."
That last one is what I said when talking about doing this task. Alas, I lied. I should have said "I will not do this all week. Just over the next ten minutes. Badly."
Monday 16 November 2009
Music Review: Jesu - 'Opiate Sun' CD
If you know me, you know Jesu. Well, you might not know them, but you'll know of them, due to the fact that I never shut the fuck up about them. They are my favourite band, and have been since I first heard 'Tired Of Me' back in 2005. That's nearly five years of me never shutting the fuck about them.
The problem is, most recent releases haven't necessarily been the greatest. 'Infinity', released a few months ago, was an amazing song, definitely, but considering it was 50 minutes in length, should have been one of Jesu's greatest. And alas, it wasn't. A definite grower, but it can't quite rival the emotional intensity of the self-titled debut album, or the meticulously crafted experimental pop of 'Silver' or 'Conqueror', or the psychedelic pounding beats of some of Jesu's more electronica-influenced work.
But then, that's one of the things that makes Jesu so exciting - You can never be sure what their next release will sound like. They've travelled through shoegaze, pop, metal, indie, ambient, electronica, and even a bit of pop-punk, country, and glitched-up IDM. The latest Jesu release, 'Opiate Sun', featuring main man Justin K Broadrick solo, follows a more shoegaze/indie inspired sound. Which is awesome, but is a bit of a letdown after the experimentalism of some recent releases.
The EP starts with 'Losing Streak', the best track on the record. It's very poppy, with an incredibly catchy refrain, and features one of Jesu's more beautiful moments in the lead-in to the chorus. Unfortunately the following tracks can't quite live up to this.
'Opiate Sun', the track, is lovely, but not necessarily memorable, though it does hold an impressively catchy vocal melody. 'Deflated' fares a bit better, being, again, very catchy, and has an impressive, if slightly overlong outro. 'Morning Light' harkens back to the debut album, with a very slow, heavy guitar pounding away over a more mournful, clean guitar sound. Again, very good, but not too memorable.
The Daymare Records edition, which I'm reviewing, ends with a bonus track - A demo version of 'Deflated'. This actually fares a bit better than the original, even if it is slightly unfinished. It's less heavy, and allows you to focus more on the melodies, and throws in a nice piano line too. One of my favourite vocal lines from the original is replaced by channel-hopping dreamy guitar distortion (think a post-rock 'Interstellar Overdrive'). Both sections are very good, though I prefer the vocal version best.
The production here is another problem. The album 'Jesu' featured an extremely heavy, but sometimes overly distorted sound, which was no doubt intended, but led to a lot of clipping. After a bunch of flawless Jesu productions, this feels like a step back, with, yup, lots of clipping. It's just a bit too noisy when it should have been a bit more low-key, in my opinion.
All this sounds very negative. And trust me, it kills me to write an even slightly negative Jesu review. But it is a good EP, just not as essential as the other Jesu releases. It's definitely a grower, and is extremely consistent. And 'Losing Streak' really is a masterpiece.
Plus, Broadrick's vocals are at their absolute strongest here. One thing to be said for each subsequent Jesu release is that the vocals constantly get better, and this is no exception. In fact, some of the prettiest melodies on the release are courtesy of some breath-taking harmonies, especially on the first three tracks.
It's an interesting excursion for the Jesu project, just one I hope doesn't outstay it's welcome.
Plus, it's worth remembering, a lesser Jesu release is the equivalent to a great album by any other band.
4/5
The problem is, most recent releases haven't necessarily been the greatest. 'Infinity', released a few months ago, was an amazing song, definitely, but considering it was 50 minutes in length, should have been one of Jesu's greatest. And alas, it wasn't. A definite grower, but it can't quite rival the emotional intensity of the self-titled debut album, or the meticulously crafted experimental pop of 'Silver' or 'Conqueror', or the psychedelic pounding beats of some of Jesu's more electronica-influenced work.
But then, that's one of the things that makes Jesu so exciting - You can never be sure what their next release will sound like. They've travelled through shoegaze, pop, metal, indie, ambient, electronica, and even a bit of pop-punk, country, and glitched-up IDM. The latest Jesu release, 'Opiate Sun', featuring main man Justin K Broadrick solo, follows a more shoegaze/indie inspired sound. Which is awesome, but is a bit of a letdown after the experimentalism of some recent releases.
The EP starts with 'Losing Streak', the best track on the record. It's very poppy, with an incredibly catchy refrain, and features one of Jesu's more beautiful moments in the lead-in to the chorus. Unfortunately the following tracks can't quite live up to this.
'Opiate Sun', the track, is lovely, but not necessarily memorable, though it does hold an impressively catchy vocal melody. 'Deflated' fares a bit better, being, again, very catchy, and has an impressive, if slightly overlong outro. 'Morning Light' harkens back to the debut album, with a very slow, heavy guitar pounding away over a more mournful, clean guitar sound. Again, very good, but not too memorable.
The Daymare Records edition, which I'm reviewing, ends with a bonus track - A demo version of 'Deflated'. This actually fares a bit better than the original, even if it is slightly unfinished. It's less heavy, and allows you to focus more on the melodies, and throws in a nice piano line too. One of my favourite vocal lines from the original is replaced by channel-hopping dreamy guitar distortion (think a post-rock 'Interstellar Overdrive'). Both sections are very good, though I prefer the vocal version best.
The production here is another problem. The album 'Jesu' featured an extremely heavy, but sometimes overly distorted sound, which was no doubt intended, but led to a lot of clipping. After a bunch of flawless Jesu productions, this feels like a step back, with, yup, lots of clipping. It's just a bit too noisy when it should have been a bit more low-key, in my opinion.
All this sounds very negative. And trust me, it kills me to write an even slightly negative Jesu review. But it is a good EP, just not as essential as the other Jesu releases. It's definitely a grower, and is extremely consistent. And 'Losing Streak' really is a masterpiece.
Plus, Broadrick's vocals are at their absolute strongest here. One thing to be said for each subsequent Jesu release is that the vocals constantly get better, and this is no exception. In fact, some of the prettiest melodies on the release are courtesy of some breath-taking harmonies, especially on the first three tracks.
It's an interesting excursion for the Jesu project, just one I hope doesn't outstay it's welcome.
Plus, it's worth remembering, a lesser Jesu release is the equivalent to a great album by any other band.
4/5
Week 46: This week, dig your own grave
So, I finally did one of my tasks assigned to me by 'This Diary Will Change Your Life 2009' this week. I did indeed dig my own grave!
Well, I kind of pussied out. But these tasks are about thinking outside the box anyway. But then, I suppose, I thought inside the box this time. A box... OF ASHES!!! Yup, I realised that I don't want to be buried anyway, I would either like to be cremated, or, if I die of a mysterious, rare illness such as eyebrow cancer, have my body donated to science.
But assuming I want to be cremated, I decided I would dig a hole big enough to fit my ashes in. This is a true, and morbidly funny story; My Grandma from my Dad's side was a big fan of Ipswich Town Football Club, so she was buried under the football grounds. Thing was, her ashes were in an egg box, with sellotape around it. I'm not quite sure why the ashes were in an egg box, but we all found it amusing, despite the sadness of her death. She would have laughed too, because she had a great sense of humour. And without trying to derail this entry, I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I really miss her. But I will save that for another time, because I don't want was intended to be an amusing article to be horribly depressing. I love you and miss you, Grandma, R.I.P.
Sorry about that. It all just came into my head, and I just wanted to write it down. Damn my stream of consciousness! Plus, I'm listening to a horribly depressing song right now, probably didn't help. Anyways, on with the grave digging! Anyways, as a tribute to my Grandma, I decided that my 'grave' would have to be the size of an egg box, roughly. And an egg box would be roughly the size of my shoe, give a few inches. So, I dug a hole in the back garden (with Mum's permission of course), and made sure it was big enough to fit my shoe in. Despite it being a tiny, tiny hole, digging was fucking hard work. But I kept at it. And now my grave is in my own back garden! I also took photos, just in case no one believes me, but there is no space on my computer, so I haven't been able to upload them. Sorry!
So yeah, I didn't follow the Diary's instructions explicitly. I didn't, consider the spade to be used, or wear proper boots, or lie in my own grave with a notepad, reflect on my own life and think about to do with the rest of it. Lying in it would have been a physical improbability too, but I did, theoretically, have one foot in the grave (see what I did there!) But I dug my own grave. So I actually did a task for once. Go me!
Well, I kind of pussied out. But these tasks are about thinking outside the box anyway. But then, I suppose, I thought inside the box this time. A box... OF ASHES!!! Yup, I realised that I don't want to be buried anyway, I would either like to be cremated, or, if I die of a mysterious, rare illness such as eyebrow cancer, have my body donated to science.
But assuming I want to be cremated, I decided I would dig a hole big enough to fit my ashes in. This is a true, and morbidly funny story; My Grandma from my Dad's side was a big fan of Ipswich Town Football Club, so she was buried under the football grounds. Thing was, her ashes were in an egg box, with sellotape around it. I'm not quite sure why the ashes were in an egg box, but we all found it amusing, despite the sadness of her death. She would have laughed too, because she had a great sense of humour. And without trying to derail this entry, I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I really miss her. But I will save that for another time, because I don't want was intended to be an amusing article to be horribly depressing. I love you and miss you, Grandma, R.I.P.
Sorry about that. It all just came into my head, and I just wanted to write it down. Damn my stream of consciousness! Plus, I'm listening to a horribly depressing song right now, probably didn't help. Anyways, on with the grave digging! Anyways, as a tribute to my Grandma, I decided that my 'grave' would have to be the size of an egg box, roughly. And an egg box would be roughly the size of my shoe, give a few inches. So, I dug a hole in the back garden (with Mum's permission of course), and made sure it was big enough to fit my shoe in. Despite it being a tiny, tiny hole, digging was fucking hard work. But I kept at it. And now my grave is in my own back garden! I also took photos, just in case no one believes me, but there is no space on my computer, so I haven't been able to upload them. Sorry!
So yeah, I didn't follow the Diary's instructions explicitly. I didn't, consider the spade to be used, or wear proper boots, or lie in my own grave with a notepad, reflect on my own life and think about to do with the rest of it. Lying in it would have been a physical improbability too, but I did, theoretically, have one foot in the grave (see what I did there!) But I dug my own grave. So I actually did a task for once. Go me!
Tuesday 10 November 2009
The Return Of My So-Called 'Return'...
Hello all! I haven't posted here in a long time, partly because I haven't done any of my 'tasks' in a long time. Partly because I have a Twitter now and I can post most of my little musings on there (http://twitter.com/deadlyrivers if anyone's wondering, although I'm perfectly aware no one's reading this. But I like to live in my own little fantasy of sorts that someone is reading this...). But, let's not bullshit here, mostly because I'm lazy.
'Tsk tsk, naughty boy, why haven't you been doing your all important tasks?' I hear you nag. Well, partly because they've gotten ridiculously ridiculous (Communism Week, in theory, requires me to split my student loan amongst every reader of the diary. I'm a generous guy, but I need my loan to liiiiive). Partly because they haven't been too interesting. But, let's not bullshit here, mostly because I'm lazy.
This week I'm supposed to dig my own grave. I doubt very much that I will do this, but I'll take some meager steps. Like phone up the proprietors of the Felixstowe Grove and ask if I have their permission to dig a grave in their premises. Does the Grove even have proprietors? Who knows? Will I even get around to phoning if they do? Probably not. But it's the thought that counts as the old adage goes. I have taken one meager step. I Googled the Felixstowe Grove. Go me! *Thumbs up, cheesy grin*
So, why am I back? Well, I've been wanting to blog again for a while, but time constraints/laziness have gone against my plans. But, yeah, I'm back now, even if I'll probably give up again after a few weeks. I'll try not to. Promise.
Do I even have much to blog about today? No, not really. Life since my last blog has been fucking goooooood. My birthday was awesome, possibly my best birthday ever, plus I got closer (platonically) to someone who gave me shitloads of confidence, I'm not even sure why, I guess she just made me feel like a good person. And she's been through a lot of stuff and come out of it smiling. Inspirational stuff, made me realise that (cliche alert) life is for living. You get nowhere just standing in the corner, so you might as well step out and... Y'know. Cliched stuff. I've been making friends, chatting to checkout people, generally just trying to ignore my fears and just go for it. I haven't been happier in a long time. Probably not interesting to anyone. But, I figured I should fill in the blanks since my last blog entry. And hopefully inspire someone else out there to just go for it too (aiming high, I know). I'm still shy, I'm still awkward, but I don't really care so much. I'd rather just be me than have to hide me.
Anyways, enough with my self-help/extreme-narcicism (I'm kidding, hopefully it didn't come off that way). I don't have much else to blog about right now. I intend to use this to go back to writing about my exploits, musings, reviews, etc. Plus, it gives me a good oppertunity to expand on my Tweets (140 words? Seriously? Keeps things concise, but oddly claustrophobic (in a textual way that is (I love brackets))). So yeah, this is just a way-overblown announcement of my return to the blogosphere basically...
Speak to y'all soon!
xoxox
'Tsk tsk, naughty boy, why haven't you been doing your all important tasks?' I hear you nag. Well, partly because they've gotten ridiculously ridiculous (Communism Week, in theory, requires me to split my student loan amongst every reader of the diary. I'm a generous guy, but I need my loan to liiiiive). Partly because they haven't been too interesting. But, let's not bullshit here, mostly because I'm lazy.
This week I'm supposed to dig my own grave. I doubt very much that I will do this, but I'll take some meager steps. Like phone up the proprietors of the Felixstowe Grove and ask if I have their permission to dig a grave in their premises. Does the Grove even have proprietors? Who knows? Will I even get around to phoning if they do? Probably not. But it's the thought that counts as the old adage goes. I have taken one meager step. I Googled the Felixstowe Grove. Go me! *Thumbs up, cheesy grin*
So, why am I back? Well, I've been wanting to blog again for a while, but time constraints/laziness have gone against my plans. But, yeah, I'm back now, even if I'll probably give up again after a few weeks. I'll try not to. Promise.
Do I even have much to blog about today? No, not really. Life since my last blog has been fucking goooooood. My birthday was awesome, possibly my best birthday ever, plus I got closer (platonically) to someone who gave me shitloads of confidence, I'm not even sure why, I guess she just made me feel like a good person. And she's been through a lot of stuff and come out of it smiling. Inspirational stuff, made me realise that (cliche alert) life is for living. You get nowhere just standing in the corner, so you might as well step out and... Y'know. Cliched stuff. I've been making friends, chatting to checkout people, generally just trying to ignore my fears and just go for it. I haven't been happier in a long time. Probably not interesting to anyone. But, I figured I should fill in the blanks since my last blog entry. And hopefully inspire someone else out there to just go for it too (aiming high, I know). I'm still shy, I'm still awkward, but I don't really care so much. I'd rather just be me than have to hide me.
Anyways, enough with my self-help/extreme-narcicism (I'm kidding, hopefully it didn't come off that way). I don't have much else to blog about right now. I intend to use this to go back to writing about my exploits, musings, reviews, etc. Plus, it gives me a good oppertunity to expand on my Tweets (140 words? Seriously? Keeps things concise, but oddly claustrophobic (in a textual way that is (I love brackets))). So yeah, this is just a way-overblown announcement of my return to the blogosphere basically...
Speak to y'all soon!
xoxox
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)