#9 - Learn That Instrument

Like I promised, I will update y'all on any Things To Do Before I Die that I have done before I die. First one first, learning an instrument! Also probably the only Thing that I've put any effort into...

When did you start to learn your instrument?: 24/10/2004. Roughly, because I think that was the year I got it.

Which instrument have you learned?: Drums

Did you have lessons as a child: No

What age were you when you started learning?: 15

I haven't written any real melodies that I can remember, although maybe I can put in some of my band's original stuff. Haven't done it yet, but will update if I do!

How loud can your instrument go?: 80 decibels (roughly)

Overall, how well do you think you play?: Very good (I'm a modest person, but you've sometimes gotta admit it when you're good at something)

How well do others think you play?: Excellent

Which other instruments can you play?: I am learning bass guitar.

What can you play?: Many, many songs

Have you written your own songs?: Not properly myself yet, but one day in the future hopefully.

Do you annoy others with your playing?: Yes, sometimes.

I haven't ever busked either, so I've left that section blank.

Your first public performance (in a band): No idea, was late last year I think though. Maybe early this year. I really should update these things as I go along.

What was your band called?: Beerwolf, and is still called such.

Where did you play?: The Railway, Ipswich

Did the gig go well?: Yes

Have you been asked back?: Yes

Days 229 - 236

Honestly; there's no point blogging about these days, because I did not do them at all. I've been extremely lazy with tasking lately. I dunno why really, maybe I'm just feeling lazy in general. Some of the tasks just don't seem fun, or require money, a commodity I am severely lacking at the moment. But mostly, I just think I've kind of resigned because I don't feel like I've been tasking well, that if I haven't been doing it properly there's no point continuing it properly. And that I want to redo all the tasks at another time, a time when I can do most of them, when I'll have the money or confidence to go through with them. Don't take this as a letter of resignation though; I will definitely continue to task when I can/can be bothered/want to. In fact, I've actually made a semblance of effort with today's task, which is something, even if all the effort so far has merely been research. But I'll let you know about that tomorrow. Or some other day, whenever I can also be bothered to blog. Like I said, lately I am very lazy. So, this is really just an apology. An excuse for my terrible life-changing. And a promise (hopefully) that one day I'll do it all properly.

Days 227 - 228

Day 227: Handcuff yourself to public fixtures today

I considered doing this one, to the extent that I actually went into town, picked up a pair of handcuffs, and considered buying them. But I decided that 1) I didn't wanna spend any money (not even the astonishing £1.49 they cost), and 2) I didn't want to handcuff myself to a public fixture. So I passed unfortunately.

Day 228: Today lobby Celine Dion to sing about you

I wrote a nice, lengthy letter to Celine Dion, telling her who I am, and that she should write a song about me because I, like her, am extremely passionate about music. Flattery gets you everywhere, so I made sure to mention that she is far superior than me in terms of talent. I've yet to send the letter, but there's no way it can fail!

101 Things To Do Before You Die

This has been a long time coming, but as well as following Benrik's diaries, I also vaguely follow a great book I bought a long time ago - '101 Things To Do Before You Die'. Like it's title may suggest, it offers up a list of, er, 101 things that would be pretty cool to do, and preferably before you die. Now, I haven't done a lot in this book, but I would like to get most of it done eventually. So, I'm starting up a blog to keep everyone up to date with the things I have done in the book.

For new followers, seeing as I will be putting this blog link on the official 101 Things website, my name is James Small. That's all you need to know about me, you'll learn the rest (maybe).

I dedicated my book to, simply, family and friends. That way no one is singled out unfairly.

At the beginning of the book is a list of things you will need. I haven't got everything on there (and never will, seeing as one of them is luck), but here's what I do and do have.

Things I have:

A pen

A pair of scissors

Glue

Money (actually, I don't really any more. This can be in both lists)

A camera

A pack of cards

Poker chips

A strong stomach

Some strangers (I guess we all have them)

Some friends

A partner

Skills (not many, but a few)

A reckless spirit (sometimes)

A world map

Condoms

Clothes

No clothes

An instrument

Various animals

Junk

A passport

A video or DVD player

A television

The sun

The moon

The stars

Fruit (Well, I don't, but I can get some)

Batteries

A good imagination

Spontaneity

A sense of humour

Things I don't have:

Money

A photocopier

Beer

A head for heights

Betting slips

A driving licence

A local map

Alcohol

A dart

A stick of chalk

A balaclava or ski mask

A celebrity

A rock star

A confessional booth

An understanding vicar

Spray cans

A van

A fast car

A bucket

Christmas decorations

An amusement park

A space shuttle

Talent

The Kama Sutra

Luck

Patience (I do sometimes)

Clear skies (I live in Britain after all)

A video camera

A golf club

A golf ball

A suit / outfit

A football

Forward planning

Optimism

These lists are very rough actually and not entirely accurate. And I can get the things I need when I need them.

Now this is just an introductory blog, so I'll go into further details on my things I've done at a later date. But, just for quick reference, and proof that I really haven't lived my life yet, here are the things I have done;

Learn that instrument

Leave your mark in graffiti

Be friends with your ex

I also have 'Design your own cocktail' listed, but I'd like to properly do this one day (ie, remember what was in the cocktail).

I'll update again soon, with exciting details on my learned instrument. Ciao for now!

Days 220 - 226

Prepare for paragraph upon paragraph of the weakest tasking ever!

Day 220: Negative Thinking Day

I forgot to think negative all day. Which worked fine for me, seeing as I had a gig with my band, and it went ace, and my drumming went really well (that's not boasting, just proudness). At the very end of the day, I feared that terrorists may fly into Nicole and Alex's house, where I was staying for the weekend. Terrorists didn't fly into the house. I conclude that both positive and negative thinking work great.

Day 221: Sabotage focus groups today

I didn't do this. I could have at least phoned the number. But I didn't.

Day 222: Today stare into other people's homes

Nor did I do this. I briefly looked into people's houses through my own windows. By briefly I mean 'passing glances', pretty much.

Day 223: Today, make friends with the geniuses of tomorrow

Guess what? Oh yeah. I didn't do this. Shame, as I went to the museum with Jay on this day, would have been a good place to find genii.

Day 224: Today, Dance with Death

Nope, none of this. I didn't want to. Nearly dying scares me more than actually dying in a weird, weird way.

Day 225: Talk to a plant for at least one hour today

I considered doing this... But couldn't be bothered. Sorry.

Day 226: Internet Vigilante Day: Today police the internet yourself

I did do this! Honestly! I went on a random college chat room (after, ingeniously, Googling 'chat rooms'), took on my vigilante handle 'Rorschach' (guess which film I'd watched just before doing this?), and policed away. I chastised people on their use of curse words, or obscene language. I picked on one girl who was CRAZY about anal sex, but she just found it funny. One girl complained of her boyfriend harassing her, so I suggested to her that she ring the police or hire me to assassinate him. Although, she seemed to be the crazy one. And there was one constant spammer sending messages about loving to watch women get fucked by dogs, and inviting us to watch it with him. I told him this was illegal, he was going to jail for distributing such material, and the woman involved in the bestiality would be too. All this between constant Watchmen discussion with a fellow fan on the message board. I think this made up for my week of bad tasking beforehand.

Week Of Revolution!

So, there was a week-long Benrik task in the book last week, which required us loyal readers to start a revolution! How do you think it went? Well, take into consideration the fact that you will have heard nothing about any revolutions on the news. I somehow managed to do worse than that...

Day 214: Week Of Revolution! Underground - Print your own samizdat

I have no printer to print anything with, let alone a samizdat! So, I started up a Facebook status asking people to join my revolution, and to print me out a samizdat proclaiming 'THIS DEMOCRACY IS A DICTATORSHIP IN DISGUISE! LOOK PAST THE LIE!!!' No one did it. Get used to me mentioning Facebook statuses, it seemed to be my base of operations...

Day 215: Week Of Revolution! Exile - Foment unrest away from home

Guess how I went about doing this? Yup, I headed to my "base of operations" and requested that everyone spread some civil unrest as far away from Felixstowe as possible. The dis-ease was not spread at all. Damn you, Facebook minions!

Day 216: Week Of Revolution! Propaganda - Develop your own revolutionary brand

I decided that my revolution's gimmick would be to use horoscopes as a scapegoat, eg "I didn't mean to blow up the Houses of Parliament, officer, my horoscope told me to!" This is copied from my, you guessed it, "base of operations". My revolution was becoming a bit of a de-volution. Ha! See what I did there?

Day 217: Week Of Revolution! Revolution - Hijack a train to the scene of your coup

Well, I didn't really have a coup arranged, so maybe I should have thought of one first. And thus, having no coup, meant no scene of coup. So, I was hugely original, and planned to hijack a train straight to the Houses of Parliament, possibly underneath the building with many bombs attached to the train. I was going to ask the train conductor if the train went straight to London when I was on my way to band practice. But you know me, I'm a pussy. So I did nothing. This would no doubt have been what kick started the revolution. And a life sentence in jail.

Day 218: Week Of Revolution! New Dawn - Impose your new society

I encouraged everyone (at my "base of operations" of course) too pool all their salaries and randomise our home addresses. Like all my statuses, I got lots of 'likes' but no takers.

Day 219: Week Of Revolution! Purge - Now liquidate absolutely everyone you've met this week

Guess how many people I met that week? That's right, none! Perhaps it was because I conducted my revolution from Facebook, but that would be a cynical thing to say! As it is, it just seems that you need to step AWAY from a computer to start a revolution. Who would have though it? I hope this acts as a cautionary tale. I hope you learned that to start something, you have to go out and DO something. That you won't achieve anything from spending your time on Facebook. And that you should NEVER aspire to be as lazy as I am.

Day 213: Today stalk an animal!

All day I'd been thinking about animals to stalk, and there are lots of animals in my house to stalk. But they are all boring and mostly stay still, licking themselves in some kind of perverse masturbatory game. Or so that's what I'm guessing is going on when animals lick themselves. Either way, they weren't very stalkable. Later I went fro a stroll and searched for other beasts to stalk, but I saw not one, except a couple of insects. I'm not sure if they count. Much, much later I decided to stalk cats inside the house anyway. I was gonna go out and stalk nocturnal creatures, but I couldn't be bothered. The stalking was very uninteresting. I watched Pepsi eat food for a few minutes. It was boring. I moved on, and observed Teddy as he... ate food for a few minutes. Oh well, his style of eating was far more interesting. He scoops the food out of the bowl with his mouth, drops it on the floor, and then eats it. I have since adopted this eating method, and it is brilliant. Scientists have actually concluded that it is far healthier, as the movement shakes calories off of the food. Plus, it has added flavour, depending on where you decide to eat.

This week I have been conducting an amazing (revolutionary, you could say) revolution, so I will blog about that next time, hence only one small task in this entry, causing me to stretch it out with nonsensical jokes. Laters, all!

Day 210-212

Day 210: Today send a letter to someone at random with a photo of your self, a £5 bill, no explanation and no sender address. See what comes of it.

I like the idea behind this one, but sadly I'm short on money at the mo so all my pennies are being closely cherished by me. I was planning to just send a photo of myself, but never got around to it.

Day 211: Have a row with everyone you meet

I'm not really into arguments, so I didn't do this. Though I had some huge, entirely serious arguments over Facebook, which culminated in me dying of a brain aneurysm. Come to think of it, they may have not been all that serious...

Day 212: Opt out of the internet today

One day I will do this, as the amount of information about everyone on the internet is quite terrifying. But not on this day. Sorry.

Wow, my most thrilling blog yet!