Week Of Revolution!

So, there was a week-long Benrik task in the book last week, which required us loyal readers to start a revolution! How do you think it went? Well, take into consideration the fact that you will have heard nothing about any revolutions on the news. I somehow managed to do worse than that...

Day 214: Week Of Revolution! Underground - Print your own samizdat

I have no printer to print anything with, let alone a samizdat! So, I started up a Facebook status asking people to join my revolution, and to print me out a samizdat proclaiming 'THIS DEMOCRACY IS A DICTATORSHIP IN DISGUISE! LOOK PAST THE LIE!!!' No one did it. Get used to me mentioning Facebook statuses, it seemed to be my base of operations...

Day 215: Week Of Revolution! Exile - Foment unrest away from home

Guess how I went about doing this? Yup, I headed to my "base of operations" and requested that everyone spread some civil unrest as far away from Felixstowe as possible. The dis-ease was not spread at all. Damn you, Facebook minions!

Day 216: Week Of Revolution! Propaganda - Develop your own revolutionary brand

I decided that my revolution's gimmick would be to use horoscopes as a scapegoat, eg "I didn't mean to blow up the Houses of Parliament, officer, my horoscope told me to!" This is copied from my, you guessed it, "base of operations". My revolution was becoming a bit of a de-volution. Ha! See what I did there?

Day 217: Week Of Revolution! Revolution - Hijack a train to the scene of your coup

Well, I didn't really have a coup arranged, so maybe I should have thought of one first. And thus, having no coup, meant no scene of coup. So, I was hugely original, and planned to hijack a train straight to the Houses of Parliament, possibly underneath the building with many bombs attached to the train. I was going to ask the train conductor if the train went straight to London when I was on my way to band practice. But you know me, I'm a pussy. So I did nothing. This would no doubt have been what kick started the revolution. And a life sentence in jail.

Day 218: Week Of Revolution! New Dawn - Impose your new society

I encouraged everyone (at my "base of operations" of course) too pool all their salaries and randomise our home addresses. Like all my statuses, I got lots of 'likes' but no takers.

Day 219: Week Of Revolution! Purge - Now liquidate absolutely everyone you've met this week

Guess how many people I met that week? That's right, none! Perhaps it was because I conducted my revolution from Facebook, but that would be a cynical thing to say! As it is, it just seems that you need to step AWAY from a computer to start a revolution. Who would have though it? I hope this acts as a cautionary tale. I hope you learned that to start something, you have to go out and DO something. That you won't achieve anything from spending your time on Facebook. And that you should NEVER aspire to be as lazy as I am.