Everytime I start catching up, I also lag behind straight after. This is getting futile. Alas, I'll continue.
I rung Lloyds of London and asked how much I'd get for my brain. They said about a sixpence. Cheeky buggers! They did suggest I ring an insurance broker instead though. Which I never did.
Day 76: Today zombie-proof your home
I was looking forward to this one, but didn't get around to doing anything, alas. I did read about the zombie film described in 'Kiss Of The Spider Woman' though. If that helps.
Day 77: Erect a statue of yourself in a public place today
I bought some kid's modelling clay in town (after searching for frickin' AGES), and erected the shoddiest 'statue' ever. It wasn't without it's charm though. I added a plaque underneath, a piece of paper saying James Small, 1988-???? Chris also made a statue out of polymer clay, a bit more reliable. We left ours on display in town centre. Alas, mine was destroyed by the next day. His was still there though, as he craftily hid his in foliage.
Day 78: Freelance as a traffic warden today
This one was fun! Chris and I hit up the 'Stowe, and started ticketing cars left, right and centre. We started off in a disabled bay where we found loads of cars clearly without blue badges. Most people drove away before we had a chance to ticket them, but we got a few. Next we went to a car park and ticketed cars that were there for longer than their tickets had allowed. We also found one or two with out-of-date tax discs. Thank God Chris was there, I would not have known how to spot half of this stuff. We then found another car park, where Chris ticketed a vehicle that was clearly not an ambulance parked in a spot that said 'Ambulance only'. Reason given on ticket? 'Car not an ambulance'. Simple, but genius. I also ticketed a Smart car for being too ugly. No offence to Smart car users. But they are ugly. We wanted to continue, but alas it started raining heavily, so we called it a day. Lots of fun though, I wanna do it again!
Day 79: Follow your horoscope's advice to the letter today
Unfortunately, I couldn't go out and find an actual horoscope as Benrik had handily supplied one. Even more unfortunately, being a Scorpio, I wasn't allowed to say a word all day. I did pretty good, and kept it up throughout merciless mocking at band practice, although I did say 'Okay' to Amy, because she insisted I talk to her about something, can't remember what it was now though. However, I gave up by the time I was home, because having to suppress yourself from talking is strangely painful, physically and mentally. Still, I did alright, especially as I had to order a train ticket with words on a piece of paper.
Day 80: Today solve problems with the threat of violence
I was playing 'Professor Layton & The Mysterious Village' (I think that's the title) on the DS in the kitchen, and, upon not being able to solve a problem, threatened to burn the DS. I couldn't find my iPod at one point, so threw pillows around my room until I found it. Amazingly it worked. And when Pepsi wouldn't eat her food, I caressed her cheek ominously. She won't fuck with me again!
Day 81: Pray to out-of-date gods today
There were two crises going on in my life at this time. One was that the government had fucked me over and claimed they paid me student finance wrongly and that I owe it back. And secondly, Jay and I had a bit of a pregnancy scare. So I prayed to Loki that he would scare the government for me, and to Nerthus that Jay isn't pregnant. Amazingly enough, I haven't heard anything back from the student loans company, and Jay wasn't pregnant. I will forever pray to out-of-date gods from now on!
Day 82: Today speak the unspeakable
I said that I admired Hitler's work ethic, because I do! Morally reprehensible man, but he set out to get a job done, and by Jove did he get it done! You have to admire him mildly for that. I also decided that reciting the entirety of the Jabberwocky poem backwards, in Swedish, might be unspeakable.
Day 83: Help finish roadworks today
There were LOADS of roadworks going on in town at the time. Actually, I'm sure there still are. Anyway, I put the 'Rewire Urgently' label on a barricaded lamppost. I would have been hoisted by my own petard if it was actually barricaded so it could be rewired...
Day 84: Does cheese really give you nightmares?
I ate 125g of mozzarella before bed, in the hopes of having disturbingly realistic nightmares. Alas, I didn't. God, do I love mozzarella though, so on this level, it was an awesome task!
Day 85: Disgrace Day
I went into London to go see the mighty Motion City Soundtrack live on this day, so I had to text my gradual disgrace every hour to my sisters. Meg was very accepting of my problems though, and Nicole stopped answering my texts, though she's still talking to me, so I'm guessing my problems weren't too big a deal...
Day 86: Today return to childhood
I acted childish with my family a little bit, because I act childish with them anyway. I fought with Meg and Hannah, made immature jokes (no change there then), and cried when mildly hurt.
Day 87: Today, go through people's rubbish and use the information to chat them up
I went through Jay's bag (not that I'm saying she's rubbish!) and badly chatted her up. I'm lucky she's already my girlfriend, my flirting technique leaves something to be desired.
Day 88: Today watch someone sleep
I watch Jay sleep for about half an hour. It wasn't very exciting, but she was still beautiful.
Day 89: Today speak only Esperanto
I looked up a bit of Esperanto on the 'net, and told Jay I loved her in Esperanto. I can't remember what it was though.
Day 90: Control Order Day
I didn't do this, so I guess I'm not a true Benrikian. Chris and I were thinking of going to London for this, but we're too poor, alas!
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