Firstly, an apology. I haven't updated much over the last few days, and won't be able to keep it up hugely well, seeing as my computer at home is completely and utterly fucked. As soon as I became Benrikian of the month, I might be souring my legacy because of my stupid computer! Grrr!!! Rest assured though, I will be keeping tasks going. I'm writing this from Uni at the moment, so until we get our home computer sorted out, updates won't be as frequent. Hopefully can sort it out as soon as possible though!
I was looking forward to this week. Benrik were to track my location, then text me impromptu tasks to do, most probably at the worst possible times. It sounded like it should have been an absolute blast, with chaos and anarchy ruling over my everyday routines. Fantastic!
So on Monday I held close to my mobile phone all day, knowing Benrik already had my number, and assuming they could probably figure out where I was via the fact that surveillance these days is fucking terrifying and is probably tracking us all every minute of the day.
I spent the evening with Jay and Kate and the babies, as we went to Asda for an immense shopping session, tried out the most tart lemon juice drink in the world, and talked at length about all having an orgy. This is true, but probably not as bad as it sounds. Then I went to theirs for a while, and we shared amazing animal facts. Well, to be honest, I shared one, but being the fountain of knowledge she is, Jay had tons. I did not know before that killer bees were a genetic experiment from scientists hybridising American and African bees. That's terrifying I think. Fuck you, scientists! And fuck you, science, whilst we're at it! Although that's only because I hated science with a passion in high school...
When I got home, I found out, unfortunately, that I could not partake in this week's task. It turns out I would need an iPhone, an Android phone (whatever that is), or a BlackBerry. I have a little, simple Nokia. I also don't have GPS facilities on my phone, or an unlimited free data contract. And, whilst my phone, like all technology in my life, is a little fucked, it does the job, and I just don't have the money to shell out loads on a new phone and new contract. Well, I do have the money. But it's Christmas. I should be buying for other people, not me.
Didn't stop me buying 'Prototype' on XBox 360 yesterday though, which is a wicked game...
Life's been a little miserable of late to be honest. I'm not really coping with the bad stuff in my life too well at the moment. Falling out with friends, having my computer crash. It's been a little depressing. Fortunately, my friends who I haven't fallen out with (not that I make a habit of it, if that's how that came across) are awesome, and are helping me through these bad times a lot. Thanks guys! There was another wicked party at Jay's on Tuesday night, which did become mildly depressing at one point, but that was my fault for dwelling on bad shit whilst in a very drunken state. But, aside from that, it was amazing. I love you guys so much!
In the absence of being able to task properly this week, I have been (very badly) attempting the bonus tasks. Will let you know how that goes in my next blog, whenever that may be...
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Monday, 30 November 2009
Sunday: Now Apply What You Have Learnt To Human Beings
First of all, I think I should mention my current pride and joy - the Benrik website newsletter has classed me as Benrikian Of The Month! I usually talk about yesterday's events in my blogs, but when I found this out a little while ago I felt I had to mention it today. I'm so proud and happy, I felt like I haven't been the best Benrikian most of the year, but I'm really trying at the moment, so I'm stoked that my efforts got noticed. Thanks, Benrik! And thanks to anyone who's commented my blogs too, much love to all! I do have to be loyal now though, I have a title to live up to... Even though I can't really do the current week's task, which I'll discuss in my next blog...
On the day I'm now chronicling, Sunday, I didn't really do the best tasking job either unfortunately, because I wasn't really sure how to go about it necessarily. But I still tried! The task was to apply what i have learned about insects to humans. Sounds simple, but I wasn't into the idea of shoving someone into a cigarette box and having them die three days later, like what happend to poor Shelly. Plus, I started the day feeling a bit upset about the current shituation (spelling error deliberate (which surely doesn't make it an error?)) my friends and I are in. And the fact that no one was home half the day, and had no plans to go out, didn't help. However, later on, and in higher spirits, my mum and littlest sister came home, so I decided to try and give the task a shot.
I started off by 'catching my human'. This involved running downstairs and grabbing Hannah (who is intensely heavy, no offense to her intended). Human caught!
For 'naming my human', I was planning to call Mum and Hannah different names throughout the day. I had Sally planned as one of them... Hmmm, where could that name have came from? Alas, I forgot to actually go through with this one. Oops.
'Feeding my human'. For this, I offered to feed Mum her lunch, and Meg her dinner, but both sadly refused. I did share a bit of my burger with Hannah though, so I guess this kind of happened.
'Hang out with your human'. Kinda depressing, but I don't really spend that much time with my family. It's nothing personal, and I love them all to bits, but I just find I have a lot of other stuff to do, and what with my weird quasi-OCD need to schedule what I do and when I do it, I sometimes don't find the time. It makes me a bit sad when I think about it, and soon I plan to do something about it, to make sure I hang out with my family a bit more. But anyway, I'm digressing (I would apologise, but this is a blog, digressing's what's often done on blogs). I spent a bit of time with my family when eating lunch and dinner, and watched some 'Friends' with Hannah. I also had a play fight with her (we are siblings after all), the usual variety where we throw cushions at each other and try to push each other off the sofa. I won! Although, as well as being freakishly heavy, she is freakishly strong too. You wouldn't think it looking at her. But then again, maybe I'm just freakishly pathetic. And you would think it looking at me...
'Loving your human'. I forgot to ask anyone for a cuddle, although I did plan to.
'Killing your human'. I smothered Mum with a pillow in her sleep. Nah, I'm just joking, in case you hadn't guessed. I didn't bring myself to kill any of my family members, despite us all joking that I was planning to kill them throughout the week. In fact, I can't even say 'I didn't bring myself to kill them' really, because the thought of genuinely killing them never entered my head. For some odd reason.
What I ultimately learned about humans from insects though, is that, sadly, we don't live for ever. Perhaps Shelly's death was a blessing in disguise, a timely reminder that people close to me will at some point die, and I will have to cope with it. They may be on a completely different scale of devastation, but it's still a lesson learned. Cheers, Shelly! She was like a really little, spindly guardian angel. Perhaps we are insects to you. I hope you can apply what you've learned about us to fellow insects in heaven. Providing what you've learned about us was good. R.I.P.
I still have her corpse waiting to be buried. Must sort that out tomorrow. I need closure, then I can stop mentioning her...
On the day I'm now chronicling, Sunday, I didn't really do the best tasking job either unfortunately, because I wasn't really sure how to go about it necessarily. But I still tried! The task was to apply what i have learned about insects to humans. Sounds simple, but I wasn't into the idea of shoving someone into a cigarette box and having them die three days later, like what happend to poor Shelly. Plus, I started the day feeling a bit upset about the current shituation (spelling error deliberate (which surely doesn't make it an error?)) my friends and I are in. And the fact that no one was home half the day, and had no plans to go out, didn't help. However, later on, and in higher spirits, my mum and littlest sister came home, so I decided to try and give the task a shot.
I started off by 'catching my human'. This involved running downstairs and grabbing Hannah (who is intensely heavy, no offense to her intended). Human caught!
For 'naming my human', I was planning to call Mum and Hannah different names throughout the day. I had Sally planned as one of them... Hmmm, where could that name have came from? Alas, I forgot to actually go through with this one. Oops.
'Feeding my human'. For this, I offered to feed Mum her lunch, and Meg her dinner, but both sadly refused. I did share a bit of my burger with Hannah though, so I guess this kind of happened.
'Hang out with your human'. Kinda depressing, but I don't really spend that much time with my family. It's nothing personal, and I love them all to bits, but I just find I have a lot of other stuff to do, and what with my weird quasi-OCD need to schedule what I do and when I do it, I sometimes don't find the time. It makes me a bit sad when I think about it, and soon I plan to do something about it, to make sure I hang out with my family a bit more. But anyway, I'm digressing (I would apologise, but this is a blog, digressing's what's often done on blogs). I spent a bit of time with my family when eating lunch and dinner, and watched some 'Friends' with Hannah. I also had a play fight with her (we are siblings after all), the usual variety where we throw cushions at each other and try to push each other off the sofa. I won! Although, as well as being freakishly heavy, she is freakishly strong too. You wouldn't think it looking at her. But then again, maybe I'm just freakishly pathetic. And you would think it looking at me...
'Loving your human'. I forgot to ask anyone for a cuddle, although I did plan to.
'Killing your human'. I smothered Mum with a pillow in her sleep. Nah, I'm just joking, in case you hadn't guessed. I didn't bring myself to kill any of my family members, despite us all joking that I was planning to kill them throughout the week. In fact, I can't even say 'I didn't bring myself to kill them' really, because the thought of genuinely killing them never entered my head. For some odd reason.
What I ultimately learned about humans from insects though, is that, sadly, we don't live for ever. Perhaps Shelly's death was a blessing in disguise, a timely reminder that people close to me will at some point die, and I will have to cope with it. They may be on a completely different scale of devastation, but it's still a lesson learned. Cheers, Shelly! She was like a really little, spindly guardian angel. Perhaps we are insects to you. I hope you can apply what you've learned about us to fellow insects in heaven. Providing what you've learned about us was good. R.I.P.
I still have her corpse waiting to be buried. Must sort that out tomorrow. I need closure, then I can stop mentioning her...
Sunday, 29 November 2009
Saturday: Kill Your Insect
Today I'm supposed to see if I can bring myself to killing my insect. I guess I was a bit hasty on this one, seeing as my insect fwiend, Shelly, died on Wednesday. Now, I don't think I killed her, and usually I'll protest to being her murderer, but if it means I completed this task... Yeah, I totally killed her!
But in all seriousness, if Shelly were alive to be part of Saturday's task, I wouldn't have killed her. I maybe would have if it was a neccessity, but seeing as one of the options given is that I couldn't bring myself to kill the insect, I'd have settled on that. I'm quite moral like that, and feel bad if I kill an insect, and start torturing myself thinking about how that insect was just about to reach the greatest moment of their life, they'd just won insect lotto, used the money to buy a Tiffany diamond ring, and was about to propose to their girlfriend... And then I kill it. What about the insect's family and friends? And potential fiancee? This is why I really can't understand how someone can kill aanother person in cold blood - a fellow being who they should understand. I realise that killing an insect and killing a person are on quite different scales, but that's not really the point. But anyway, I digress. I was way too attached to Shelly to be have been able to kill her anyway, she was a sweetheart.
So I thought maybe I could just find a random insect, and see if I could bring myself to kill it anyway. That way, I wouldn't have quite as much associated guilt as I would have if the insect were my friend. But, yeah, you guessed it, barely a bug in sight today. Sigh.
That evening I went to see 'Paranormal Activity', which I mention because no one should believe the trailers (or the people screaming and fucking crying in the cinema). It's about as scary as a handkerchief. And if you happen to have a phobia of handkerchiefs, I apologise for the poor analogy. It was a decent film, moderately entertaining and all. But, honestly, 'Drag Me To Hell' was scarier, and that film was a fucking comedy!
Movie rant over. I guess I can't judge fairly because I don't find films scary. I only find real stuff scary, things on screen don't really bother me, unless I'm watching people play 'Left 4 Dead' whilst I'm very drunk. As I did later that night.
For it was PARTY TIME!!! Party at Meech's to be exact, and, despite the fact that some fuckers did some shit that managed to upset us all, it was a really good night. There was a fly or two buzzing around at various points, and I tried to catch it/them so I could CRUSH it/them (capitals felt appropraiate), but I've never been good at catching flies, so I failed. Again. Double sigh.
There was lots of drinking, music, and 'Left 4 Dead' at the party, so all in all, a good time. I just wish people didn't have to fucking ruin it for us, but I probably shouldn't really go into all the details on a public blog, seeing as I guess it's better to just let the situation go instead of make things worse with incendiary comments. And right now, I'm feeling okay about it all, because sometimes bad stuff has to happen for good stuff to take place, and that good stuff will be even better because of it. So yeah, I'm keeping positive at the moment. And I didn't mean to end this blog on a depressing (even though it did get positive) note, but all this discussion is actually weirdly relevant to the next day's task. As you will find out tomorrow (hopefully)...
But in all seriousness, if Shelly were alive to be part of Saturday's task, I wouldn't have killed her. I maybe would have if it was a neccessity, but seeing as one of the options given is that I couldn't bring myself to kill the insect, I'd have settled on that. I'm quite moral like that, and feel bad if I kill an insect, and start torturing myself thinking about how that insect was just about to reach the greatest moment of their life, they'd just won insect lotto, used the money to buy a Tiffany diamond ring, and was about to propose to their girlfriend... And then I kill it. What about the insect's family and friends? And potential fiancee? This is why I really can't understand how someone can kill aanother person in cold blood - a fellow being who they should understand. I realise that killing an insect and killing a person are on quite different scales, but that's not really the point. But anyway, I digress. I was way too attached to Shelly to be have been able to kill her anyway, she was a sweetheart.
So I thought maybe I could just find a random insect, and see if I could bring myself to kill it anyway. That way, I wouldn't have quite as much associated guilt as I would have if the insect were my friend. But, yeah, you guessed it, barely a bug in sight today. Sigh.
That evening I went to see 'Paranormal Activity', which I mention because no one should believe the trailers (or the people screaming and fucking crying in the cinema). It's about as scary as a handkerchief. And if you happen to have a phobia of handkerchiefs, I apologise for the poor analogy. It was a decent film, moderately entertaining and all. But, honestly, 'Drag Me To Hell' was scarier, and that film was a fucking comedy!
Movie rant over. I guess I can't judge fairly because I don't find films scary. I only find real stuff scary, things on screen don't really bother me, unless I'm watching people play 'Left 4 Dead' whilst I'm very drunk. As I did later that night.
For it was PARTY TIME!!! Party at Meech's to be exact, and, despite the fact that some fuckers did some shit that managed to upset us all, it was a really good night. There was a fly or two buzzing around at various points, and I tried to catch it/them so I could CRUSH it/them (capitals felt appropraiate), but I've never been good at catching flies, so I failed. Again. Double sigh.
There was lots of drinking, music, and 'Left 4 Dead' at the party, so all in all, a good time. I just wish people didn't have to fucking ruin it for us, but I probably shouldn't really go into all the details on a public blog, seeing as I guess it's better to just let the situation go instead of make things worse with incendiary comments. And right now, I'm feeling okay about it all, because sometimes bad stuff has to happen for good stuff to take place, and that good stuff will be even better because of it. So yeah, I'm keeping positive at the moment. And I didn't mean to end this blog on a depressing (even though it did get positive) note, but all this discussion is actually weirdly relevant to the next day's task. As you will find out tomorrow (hopefully)...
Friday: Love Your Insect
My attempt at insect loving didn't go to well, it has to be said. I was merely supposed to have a nice cuddle with my insect today, and see if the insect and I enjoyed it. Seeing as my previous insect, Shelly, was very, very dead, I didn't feel like cuddling the corpse. Something just seems a little macabre about hugging a dead spider...
I had a really quite busy day on Friday too, so didn't have much time to catch a new insect fwiend. I had a full day of Uni, then a meal out later that night to celebrate Mum's birthday (happy birthday for last Friday, Mum! And happy birthday for today, Dad!). So, I really had no time at home during the day, except to get ready. After the meal I searched the house for insects. Because my house is being an insect-less shit right now, there were none... Except in the downstairs toilet, where there were two spiders. Fantastic!
Except not fantastic! Because one was dead (I have a knack for finding dead/dying spiders), and one was a slippery bastard, who I tried desperately to grab hold of, but the sprightly bugger dashed off every which way, until it eventually hid behind the sink, where I couldn't get to it! Goddamn it! I'm guessing word of Shelly's death has emerged amongst the insect world, and they're all avoiding me like the plague right now. I didn't murder her though! I bet Meg's been telling other spiders that I killed Shelly... Ignoring the fact that Meg's shit-scared of spiders for a minute...
So yeah, my tasking wasn't particularly exceptional again, but I'm guessing that the rest of this week's not gonna be easy, what with the insect-less-ness, death-ness, busy-ness, and whatever-else-ness.
But oh wells. The meal, to derail the subject, was awesome. Chinese buffet for the win! And the dessert was delightfully odd, being another buffet, this time of ice cream, cake, Chinese treats, and LOTS of pick 'n' mix. Which I guess doesn't sound too odd. But the amount of pick 'n' mix we'd had for desert made it a different-than-usual dessert. It was akin to reaping the rewards of an exploded Haribo factory. Which, I assure you, is a good thing, though possibly not for the workers/proprietors/builders of said factory.
I had a really quite busy day on Friday too, so didn't have much time to catch a new insect fwiend. I had a full day of Uni, then a meal out later that night to celebrate Mum's birthday (happy birthday for last Friday, Mum! And happy birthday for today, Dad!). So, I really had no time at home during the day, except to get ready. After the meal I searched the house for insects. Because my house is being an insect-less shit right now, there were none... Except in the downstairs toilet, where there were two spiders. Fantastic!
Except not fantastic! Because one was dead (I have a knack for finding dead/dying spiders), and one was a slippery bastard, who I tried desperately to grab hold of, but the sprightly bugger dashed off every which way, until it eventually hid behind the sink, where I couldn't get to it! Goddamn it! I'm guessing word of Shelly's death has emerged amongst the insect world, and they're all avoiding me like the plague right now. I didn't murder her though! I bet Meg's been telling other spiders that I killed Shelly... Ignoring the fact that Meg's shit-scared of spiders for a minute...
So yeah, my tasking wasn't particularly exceptional again, but I'm guessing that the rest of this week's not gonna be easy, what with the insect-less-ness, death-ness, busy-ness, and whatever-else-ness.
But oh wells. The meal, to derail the subject, was awesome. Chinese buffet for the win! And the dessert was delightfully odd, being another buffet, this time of ice cream, cake, Chinese treats, and LOTS of pick 'n' mix. Which I guess doesn't sound too odd. But the amount of pick 'n' mix we'd had for desert made it a different-than-usual dessert. It was akin to reaping the rewards of an exploded Haribo factory. Which, I assure you, is a good thing, though possibly not for the workers/proprietors/builders of said factory.
Friday, 27 November 2009
Thursday: Hang Out With Your Insect
Considering the events of yesterday's blog, I didn't do any task today, strictly speaking. I would have hung out with Shelly, but she was sadly dead, and I felt it to be a bit macabre to hang out with, and study the personality, of a dead spider. And I did have a look around my house for a new fwiend, not that I like the thought of replacing my dear Shelly, but for the purposes of my daily task. But no! Not a single insect anywhere! I mean seriously, insects are fucking everywhere when you never want them to be. But now that I actually want an insect, they are nowhere to be found! Damn you, cruel insect God! Is this your punishment unto me for Shelly's death? I DIDN'T MURDER HER (despite my sister claiming I did)!
So, even though I didn't actually do it yesterday, I had hung out with her for a bit previously, and will write a few notes on her personality. I feel that, initially, Shelly was quite introverted. She was quite scared of me, and would huddle up into a ball when I wanted to hang out. But I think that I helped her come out of her shell a little bit. As the (many) days went on, she was more playful, emerging from her house for a little run around, or mischeviously covering my fingers in webs (at least I think they were webs...). She certainly developed more personality as we spent more time together, and, if it helps, I was quite shy and scared of her at first too. But we built a beautiful bond as we socially grew together. This made her death even more sad, as I felt I was just getting to know the real Shelly. But I learned a lot about her - she was a quiet soul, scared of the big wide world around her, but all she needed was someone to show her friendship. I feel proud knowing that I gave her that (I don't feel so proud of possibly murdering her, but still).
That night, I went to Jay and Kate's again, although I wasn't in so much need of consolation this time. We had another awesome night. I farted a lot in the front room, which I feel a bit bad about. I swear I only ever need to fart when I'm in their front room. Still, I think everyone was more impressed than disgusted. I feel partly proud, and partly ashamed. Proudshamed, as I hail it!
Like the night before, we just shot the shit and chillaxed all night, which I like. Jay put the finishing touches to the first hat that she's made, and it was awesome! Really looking forward to seeing her next hat as well, in the style of Alice In Wonderland's Mad Hatter. It's gonna be wicked! We also looked at Meech's Fizz Monster stuff, which is amazing, really cool handmade jewellery and plushes. These guys are so creative! They make me jealous, but not in an envious way, in a way that I really admire their skills. Be proud guys!
I also forgot to mention on my previous blog that the night before, Meech bought me the coolest slippers in the world - motherfucking giraffe slippers! Hell yeah! I love them, they are adorable! I can't wait for Saturday night - party at Meech's with all my favourite homies!
So, even though I didn't actually do it yesterday, I had hung out with her for a bit previously, and will write a few notes on her personality. I feel that, initially, Shelly was quite introverted. She was quite scared of me, and would huddle up into a ball when I wanted to hang out. But I think that I helped her come out of her shell a little bit. As the (many) days went on, she was more playful, emerging from her house for a little run around, or mischeviously covering my fingers in webs (at least I think they were webs...). She certainly developed more personality as we spent more time together, and, if it helps, I was quite shy and scared of her at first too. But we built a beautiful bond as we socially grew together. This made her death even more sad, as I felt I was just getting to know the real Shelly. But I learned a lot about her - she was a quiet soul, scared of the big wide world around her, but all she needed was someone to show her friendship. I feel proud knowing that I gave her that (I don't feel so proud of possibly murdering her, but still).
That night, I went to Jay and Kate's again, although I wasn't in so much need of consolation this time. We had another awesome night. I farted a lot in the front room, which I feel a bit bad about. I swear I only ever need to fart when I'm in their front room. Still, I think everyone was more impressed than disgusted. I feel partly proud, and partly ashamed. Proudshamed, as I hail it!
Like the night before, we just shot the shit and chillaxed all night, which I like. Jay put the finishing touches to the first hat that she's made, and it was awesome! Really looking forward to seeing her next hat as well, in the style of Alice In Wonderland's Mad Hatter. It's gonna be wicked! We also looked at Meech's Fizz Monster stuff, which is amazing, really cool handmade jewellery and plushes. These guys are so creative! They make me jealous, but not in an envious way, in a way that I really admire their skills. Be proud guys!
I also forgot to mention on my previous blog that the night before, Meech bought me the coolest slippers in the world - motherfucking giraffe slippers! Hell yeah! I love them, they are adorable! I can't wait for Saturday night - party at Meech's with all my favourite homies!
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Wednesday: Feed Your Insect
Two blog entries in one day? Selfish bastard! I know that's what you're thinking! Well, I could have put them into one blog, but my extreme pedanticness means that I simply won't allow myself to do that. *Sigh*
Anyways, Wednesday was dedicated to feeding my new, pint-size (if that) friend, Shelly! I had googled the day before to see what spiders eat, which is usually other spiders and flies I think (I have a memory like a sieve, sorry). Well, there were no other spiders or flies around to feed my friend with, and I'd have to be looking for dead spiders, in case the intended prey became the predator. For breakfast I had tasty Raisin Oats And More (stupid name, yes, but oh, so delicious). I put a bit of all the various components (one nut cluster, one oat flake, one raisin) of this complex cereal into Shelly's home to see what she'd like. The results? None of them I think. Okay, so if she did nibble on them it would be barely viewable to the human eye, considering how tiny she is, but still. I tried actively feeding her by putting them closer to her, but I don't think she dug Raisin Oats Or More. Shame, it's delicious!
For lunch, I had Morrison's chicken noodle soup with Italian style sauce (so, so good!), with bread and butter. Mmmmm. I don't know if spiders can handle liquids or not, so I didn't feed her any of the soup. But I thought that a piece of bread and butter wouldn't go amiss! So I put a chunk into her house for her to enjoy.
Later, I got rid of the chunk (I expected the whole thing gone, but no! Shelly's a picky eater) and played with her a bit. She's quite fun, but kind of limited, and conversation is sparse, to say the least. I was scared she didn't like her home, but she always crawled back into it when I left it there for her. I was also scared that she hadn't eaten, and that I was starving her by feeding her the wrong foods. I remember reading, however, that spiders are meat eaters, and so far I'd fed her stuff which distinctly wasn't meat. So, I tore off a small piece of ham and placed it in her house.
But then, things started to all get like a quadruple-speed Marley And Me, with a spider instead of a dog (how Marley And Me should have been if you ask me...). I was preparing to go to Jay and Kate's, and bring Shelly along with me (as mentioned in my previous blog entry). But she seemed to be walking funny. Kind of hobbling around, like there was something wrong with her leg, or legs. But, I knew that Jay and Meech knew first aid, which I'm sure could quite easily be applied to a spider. So, off I went, Shelly in tow.
Tragedy struck. Sadly, on the way to Jay and Kate's, at roughly 5:30pm, Shelly died. Cause of death, unknown. Could have been the cold from being outside, but spiders are always outside, so that's blatantly not it. Did her gammy leg kill her? Quite possibly. Progressive lung cancer from living inside a cigarette box? Do spiders even have lungs? Or was it what I feared the most, lack of food? I was hoping maybe she found some snacky delights on her house excursion the previous day. But only she (and whatever she ate, if she did eat) will ever know.
I considered an autopsy, but I figured things were just best left as they were. I mean, what if she was injecting hard drugs and had died from an overdose? I didn't want my view of lovely Shelly tainted, so things were best left alone.
The saddest part is, she never even got to meet my friends. All they saw was her corpse. But Shelly was excited to see them, and I like to think she died happy.
Fortunately, my friends are amazing, and consoled me in this time of heartbreak with an awesome night. We had battered sausage and chips (comfort eating for me), made stuff (well, Jay, Meech and Chris did), talked about everything, and had a nice chill night. I even tried to convert my friends to the Benrik cult by showing them my Diary. Chris seemed very interested. I didn't even think about poor Shelly for the night, instead I just laughed, loved and lived with my friends. It's what Shelly would have wanted. Thank you Jay, Kate, Meech, Chris, Emily, Anabelle, Dani, and Lisa for all contributing to one awesome night!
The only thing I questioned is, what now? Do I find a new friend, a replacement? Or do I say goodbye to insect befriendin' week, and move on to pastures new? Whatever I do... I did it for you Shelly.
R.I.P. Shelly, 2009-2009
The greatest pet spider I've ever owned.
Anyways, Wednesday was dedicated to feeding my new, pint-size (if that) friend, Shelly! I had googled the day before to see what spiders eat, which is usually other spiders and flies I think (I have a memory like a sieve, sorry). Well, there were no other spiders or flies around to feed my friend with, and I'd have to be looking for dead spiders, in case the intended prey became the predator. For breakfast I had tasty Raisin Oats And More (stupid name, yes, but oh, so delicious). I put a bit of all the various components (one nut cluster, one oat flake, one raisin) of this complex cereal into Shelly's home to see what she'd like. The results? None of them I think. Okay, so if she did nibble on them it would be barely viewable to the human eye, considering how tiny she is, but still. I tried actively feeding her by putting them closer to her, but I don't think she dug Raisin Oats Or More. Shame, it's delicious!
For lunch, I had Morrison's chicken noodle soup with Italian style sauce (so, so good!), with bread and butter. Mmmmm. I don't know if spiders can handle liquids or not, so I didn't feed her any of the soup. But I thought that a piece of bread and butter wouldn't go amiss! So I put a chunk into her house for her to enjoy.
Later, I got rid of the chunk (I expected the whole thing gone, but no! Shelly's a picky eater) and played with her a bit. She's quite fun, but kind of limited, and conversation is sparse, to say the least. I was scared she didn't like her home, but she always crawled back into it when I left it there for her. I was also scared that she hadn't eaten, and that I was starving her by feeding her the wrong foods. I remember reading, however, that spiders are meat eaters, and so far I'd fed her stuff which distinctly wasn't meat. So, I tore off a small piece of ham and placed it in her house.
But then, things started to all get like a quadruple-speed Marley And Me, with a spider instead of a dog (how Marley And Me should have been if you ask me...). I was preparing to go to Jay and Kate's, and bring Shelly along with me (as mentioned in my previous blog entry). But she seemed to be walking funny. Kind of hobbling around, like there was something wrong with her leg, or legs. But, I knew that Jay and Meech knew first aid, which I'm sure could quite easily be applied to a spider. So, off I went, Shelly in tow.
Tragedy struck. Sadly, on the way to Jay and Kate's, at roughly 5:30pm, Shelly died. Cause of death, unknown. Could have been the cold from being outside, but spiders are always outside, so that's blatantly not it. Did her gammy leg kill her? Quite possibly. Progressive lung cancer from living inside a cigarette box? Do spiders even have lungs? Or was it what I feared the most, lack of food? I was hoping maybe she found some snacky delights on her house excursion the previous day. But only she (and whatever she ate, if she did eat) will ever know.
I considered an autopsy, but I figured things were just best left as they were. I mean, what if she was injecting hard drugs and had died from an overdose? I didn't want my view of lovely Shelly tainted, so things were best left alone.
The saddest part is, she never even got to meet my friends. All they saw was her corpse. But Shelly was excited to see them, and I like to think she died happy.
Fortunately, my friends are amazing, and consoled me in this time of heartbreak with an awesome night. We had battered sausage and chips (comfort eating for me), made stuff (well, Jay, Meech and Chris did), talked about everything, and had a nice chill night. I even tried to convert my friends to the Benrik cult by showing them my Diary. Chris seemed very interested. I didn't even think about poor Shelly for the night, instead I just laughed, loved and lived with my friends. It's what Shelly would have wanted. Thank you Jay, Kate, Meech, Chris, Emily, Anabelle, Dani, and Lisa for all contributing to one awesome night!
The only thing I questioned is, what now? Do I find a new friend, a replacement? Or do I say goodbye to insect befriendin' week, and move on to pastures new? Whatever I do... I did it for you Shelly.
R.I.P. Shelly, 2009-2009
The greatest pet spider I've ever owned.
Tuesday: Name Your Insect
Nice, simple task today. Far easier than catching an insect anyway, although that may just be me and my spectacular incompetence at doing simple things. All I have to do is name my pet spider. Simples!
So, after I'd woken up properly and my brain was functioning enough to think of decent names. I'd been thinking previously about what to name it, thinking up obvious names such as 'Shelhob', or 'Peter', as in 'Peter Parker', as in 'Spider-Man'. But I saved the big moment for today, as per instructed. I picked up my spider's elegantly crafted home, opened it, and stared at my fwiend for a few minutes. The first step in naming something is knowing the sex. I guess I could have gone for an adrogynous name like Jamie, or Alex, but I figured it'd be a nice idea to get to know my spider's gender anyway, so I could know whether to refer to it as 'he' or 'she'. It certainly had it's masculine qualities, as I often tend to think of spiders as male anyway (not really sure why). But I stared deep into it's eyes. Yes! It was female! I knew for sure! Okay, I didn't know for sure, I don't really know anything for sure. But I think it is a she.
So, I had to think of a female name. Lucy? No. Sally? Maybe. Robert? Definitely no. But Sally was close. Yes. I was thinking Sally, or... Shelly! Yes. Sally? Shelly? Shelly! Yes! (That probably doesn't read as well as it did in my head, my apologies.) Maybe I was thinking of Shelly because of the aforementioned Shelhob (I'm not sure if that's how you spell it, I don't even like LOTR (blasphemy, I know)). But I didn't care. Shelly felt right. She is officially named Shelly.
I left for Uni and returned home and - GASP! - Shelly had escaped from her house! NOOOOO!!! Shelly, being the muscly mofo she apparently was, must have pushed open the door of her house and escaped. I looked around. But no. Shelly was gone. Sad times. I moped around the house for a bit. But moping does not bring back my beautiful Shelly.
Later that night, afetr a bit of time on the XBox, I looked up to the ceiling. Oh my God! Was it? I think it was! A spider was crawling on the ceiling. I reached up and pulled down the beast. Yes! I think it was Shelly! Or at least makeshift Shelly. Shelly 2. I'm sure it was Shelly though! She's back!
I kept a close eye on her all night so that she didn't escape again. I let her out of her house to play, but wouldn't let her stray too far away. At one point I swear she bit my thumb. I had her on the tip of my thumb and I felt a sting and her legs started frantically waving. But I don't think she did bite me (despite two sentences ago swearing she did), I think I'm just paranoid. I texted my friend Jay, who knows everything, to enquire about it. She knows every type of spider that can bite in the UK, so she was the perfect person to text. She wasn't sure on the exact type of spider I had, probably because I'm horrible at describing and because it was over text, but, with plans to see Jay and other friends the next day, I would introduce them all to my new friend... SHELLY!
So, after I'd woken up properly and my brain was functioning enough to think of decent names. I'd been thinking previously about what to name it, thinking up obvious names such as 'Shelhob', or 'Peter', as in 'Peter Parker', as in 'Spider-Man'. But I saved the big moment for today, as per instructed. I picked up my spider's elegantly crafted home, opened it, and stared at my fwiend for a few minutes. The first step in naming something is knowing the sex. I guess I could have gone for an adrogynous name like Jamie, or Alex, but I figured it'd be a nice idea to get to know my spider's gender anyway, so I could know whether to refer to it as 'he' or 'she'. It certainly had it's masculine qualities, as I often tend to think of spiders as male anyway (not really sure why). But I stared deep into it's eyes. Yes! It was female! I knew for sure! Okay, I didn't know for sure, I don't really know anything for sure. But I think it is a she.
So, I had to think of a female name. Lucy? No. Sally? Maybe. Robert? Definitely no. But Sally was close. Yes. I was thinking Sally, or... Shelly! Yes. Sally? Shelly? Shelly! Yes! (That probably doesn't read as well as it did in my head, my apologies.) Maybe I was thinking of Shelly because of the aforementioned Shelhob (I'm not sure if that's how you spell it, I don't even like LOTR (blasphemy, I know)). But I didn't care. Shelly felt right. She is officially named Shelly.
I left for Uni and returned home and - GASP! - Shelly had escaped from her house! NOOOOO!!! Shelly, being the muscly mofo she apparently was, must have pushed open the door of her house and escaped. I looked around. But no. Shelly was gone. Sad times. I moped around the house for a bit. But moping does not bring back my beautiful Shelly.
Later that night, afetr a bit of time on the XBox, I looked up to the ceiling. Oh my God! Was it? I think it was! A spider was crawling on the ceiling. I reached up and pulled down the beast. Yes! I think it was Shelly! Or at least makeshift Shelly. Shelly 2. I'm sure it was Shelly though! She's back!
I kept a close eye on her all night so that she didn't escape again. I let her out of her house to play, but wouldn't let her stray too far away. At one point I swear she bit my thumb. I had her on the tip of my thumb and I felt a sting and her legs started frantically waving. But I don't think she did bite me (despite two sentences ago swearing she did), I think I'm just paranoid. I texted my friend Jay, who knows everything, to enquire about it. She knows every type of spider that can bite in the UK, so she was the perfect person to text. She wasn't sure on the exact type of spider I had, probably because I'm horrible at describing and because it was over text, but, with plans to see Jay and other friends the next day, I would introduce them all to my new friend... SHELLY!
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