Final Blog Of 2009!

Okay, I'll make this sorta quick, 'cos I have a New Year's party to attend to, but I figured I needed my opportunity to sign off from 2009. It's been a pretty great year, over all. I made some awesome new friends, discovered Benrik, and realised that confidence is more fun than crippling shyness. Did the Diary change my life? I don't think so, possibly because I discovered it halfway through the year, and didn't do the best job of following it. But, saying that, my life has changed a fair bit, whether that's down to the diary or not. I think it's because of my friends that my life has changed really, giving me the funnest birthday of my life, and an unexpected burst of confidence in the making of new friends. I can't say life has changed HUGELY, but it has changed, and for the better too. It's been a good year.

I'm super excited for next year. I get to follow the Book (not, strictly speaking, a Diary this time), which is going to be absolutely mad, I can't wait. And I'm going to try and follow it as well as I can, with the exception of the odd task I'll inevitably pussy out of doing. I get to have lots more awesome, crazy nights with my friends. I get to make some short films on my course. And 'Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World' will be coming out, which is going to be an amazing film, that I assure you. I can't wait to change my life, again. 'Tis gonna be epic!

My blogging may not be the best at the beginning of the year, because I have a fuck-off huge essay to work on, but I'll try my best. Next year's blogs are gonna be more or less the same (so be warned!), although hopefully with the inclusion of pictures, seeing as my computer is in pretty good shape at the moment, for once. Which is even LESS reason to read the blogs if they include pictures of me...

I would say more, but I have partying to do, to celebrate the end of, not just the year, but the decade, and not just the decade, but my life! Well, hopefully not my life, but at least I'd die happy. Thank you to anyone who's been reading my blogs over 2009, and who's kept me entertained with their blogs. Will see you all next year (that feels weird to say), for more fun, frivolity, and falafel! Okay, I doubt there'll be much falafel, but it sounded good, okay?

Happy new year everyone!

xoxox

Review of 2009

'Cos I'm a geek who loves movies and music more than I love my friends and family (I'm joking, friends and family!), I have decided to do a review of my favourite stuff in 2009. And by stuff, I mean movies and music. Prepare to be bored by things I've probably mentioned millions of times before!

First up, movies! 2009 was a pretty darn good year for movies. This year I joined Lovefilm, which is an orgasmically good invention, and allows me to see all the potentially dope (and the terrible) flicks that I didn't catch at the cinema, or weren't given a mainstream release. As it is, I've watched a LOT of movies this year. Good and bad, but mostly good fortunately. I'll get the bad over and done with. Worst movie of the year? 'Lesbian Vampire Killers'. There is absolutely no excuse for this to exist. Sure, the title is great. Alas, there is distinct lack of lesbianism or killing in the film. There are some vampires, but let's face it, every film has vampires in at the moment. Nope, this film really is just a series of jokes I would have stopped laughing at when I was 10. If you find the words 'condom', 'cock', or 'fanny' funny, then by all means, this is probably the best movie of the year for you. However, if you love juvenile, childish humour with some actual wit behind it, like I do, then you'll hate it. James Corden was recently voted one of the most annoying people of the year, and I hope to God that he was voted that because of this film.

I can't believe I spent ages talking about a film I hate! But I guess I just needed the release. Favourite films of the year? My absolute favourite was 'Watchmen', which was quite simply amazing. Sure, I've only read half of the graphic novel (which is also amazing), so I guess I can't compare them, but that might be a reason I loved the film so much. It's one of the deepest, most complex films I have seen, nearly 3 hours of moral, political and existential issues. Which doesn't make it sound overtly appealing, so there's also a fair amount of gore and nudity in it too. The special effects are superb, visually the film is extraordinary. Especially the scenes of Dr. Manhattan on Mars...

Ahhh, Manhattan on Mars. Has there been a better sequence in recent memory than the one where Manhattan tells us his life story thus far, whilst levitating on the red planet, soundtracked by an incredibly haunting piece by Philip Glass? I don't think so. Say what you will about the rest of the film. But this scene is pretty much perfect. I'd go so far as to say it is. One of the most saddening, beautiful things I have ever seen on film, 'Watchmen' could be film of the year for this scene alone. Fortunately the rest is not far off the brilliance of this scene.

Other amazing films this year? 'Inglourious Basterds' was incredible, and, surprisingly, my favourite Tarantino film so far. Fun, complex, subversive, and Cnl. Landa is one of the greatest characters ever created. Third fave would be 'Avatar'. It wasn't the masterpiece that I wanted James Cameron, my favourite filmmaker, to make. But it was still fucking awesome. Simplistic plot, sure. But the way it's told is fantastic, it looks great, and the action is unbeatable. Other brilliant films this year: 'The Wrestler', 'Rachel Getting Married', 'The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button', 'Hansel and Gretel' (not the fairytale), 'Gran Torino', 'Milk', 'The Hangover', 'Bruno', 'Star Trek', 'Drag Me To Hell', '(500) Days Of Summer', 'Away We Go' (closest I came to crying at the cinema all year!), 'A Serious Man', 'Michael Jackson's This Is It', 'Anvil! The Story Of Anvil', 'Up!', etc. There's probably loads I haven't mentioned, but you probably stopped reading ages ago, so that shouldn't be a problem... =p

Jesus, I've already written a lot. Gasp! On to music then! I'll try not to write so much!

Kind of disappointing year for Jesu, my favourite band. There were some very, very good releases this year, but nothing sensational. The 'Opiate Sun' EP was great, but hardly essential Jesu. 'Infinity' was amazing, but considering it was one 50-minute long song, should have been better. As it was, it drags halfway through, and not because it's long. Fortunately, the closing ambience is incredible, an awesome way to end such an epic piece. Still excited by what Jesu have got in store next, I'm still in love with the band!

Also disappointing was the new Between The Buried And Me album, 'The Great Misdirect'. The predecessor, 'Colors', is without a doubt my favourite metal album ever. Epic, expansive, crazy, mind-boggling, and just incredibly head-bangable. Unfortunately, the new album tries to hard to top it, and fails. It's still a great album, but just not quite there. The proggy bits are too dull, the metal bits are too indulgent, the weird bits are too not-weird-enough. And the final track, 'Swim To The Moon' is especially frustrating. It has an amazing chorus, which unfortunately we only hear three times over the course of a patience-stretching, 18-minute long jam session. A shame, but still better than most metal out there.

Fvaourite album of the year is 'Tarot Sport' by Fuck Buttons. Yes, they have a silly name, but it's easy to forget that when listening to some of the most euphoric, uplifting music ever made. The experimental noise of the first album, 'Street Horrrsing', is still there, but lying underneath layers and layers of beautiful drones, hypnotic drumming, and an atmosphere of hope and triumph. I suppose you could say that it's dance music, but it's so much better than any dance music that exists. It's frequently beautiful, groovy, relaxing, all while being very experimental. For once, a band actually got BETTER this year.

Favourite song of the year? 'Lights And Shapes' by Moving Mountains. Breathtaking. Absolutely, one of the most epic things I've ever heard. What starts off as a frantic post-hardcore workout soon segues into a violin-led post-rock beauty, and ends with shimmering ambience that will warm even the coldest of hearts. The musical equivalent to falling in love. I have just ordered their EP, 'Foreword', so hopefully will soon be indulging in more MovMou lushness.

This was really quite long and indulgent (kind like the new BTBAM album...), and if you've read it the whole way through I feel sorry for you, but I also really love you. That is your reward for reading this whole thing! My eternal love! Enjoy!

IIIIIIT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTTTTMASSSSSSSS!!!!

I haven't been updating much recently because I've been super-busy. There was something kinda big that happened in the last few days, but I can't quite remember what it was. Easter? Yeah, I think that's the one.

No, silly, 'twas Christmas! Crimbo 2009 was very, very awesome indeed. I guess there's not a lot to say about it in a sense, because not a lot really happened. It was all very traditional. Opening presents, eating Christmas dinner, spending some quality time with the family, playing some board games and stuff. This is pretty much the same formula we follow every year at the Small household, but it's tried, it's tested, and it works bloody well, so we keep it up. So, yeah, not much to say, but had a great couple of days regardless.

Got some lovely presents too. A couple of t-shirts (an awesome Kermit the Frog one, and a Joker one), 'House' Season 3 on DVD (YASSSSSSS!!!!), some interesting trivia books, a board game from Marks & Spencer called 'Thoughts & Crosses' which was very difficult but lots of fun, socks (it IS Christmas after all), pens (it's a long running joke that I get pens every year, don't ask), a remote control Yoshi Kart, some alcohol. That kind of thing. A good haul overall, plus got just about enough Christmas money to recoup my costs for buying everyone's presents, so that works out pretty well.

Boxing Day, Nicole 'n' Alex came around, another Christmas tradition. We played more board games, and a lot of Wii. Hannah got Wii Fit for Christmas, so we've all been playing that a bit. We had fun trying to make the most fucked-up Wii Fit profile possible by inputting contradictory data. Good, good times! Apparently I'm underweight and need to gain 3 stone of muscle. That would make me look horrific! I'm tempted to make my New Year's resolution to gain weight, whereas most people have lose weight as theirs. And no, it won't be muscle, I'll just make sure I eat lots of junk food and never exercise. Hey presto!

I'm kidding, weight's gonna be the last thing on my mind when I'm focusing on my tasking (and essays, but oh well). I haven't been tasking over the last few days, because I've just been chillaxing, but I might try and do some of the bonus tasks over the next few days. I'm not worrying about it too much though, I need some rest to prep for next year's immense tasking! And that's why I'll also be chilling out on my blog for the next few days too, so I can get some rest before I have to chronicle my 365 days of hysterical living. I'll still be blogging though, just won't be quite the 14 entries per minute that i did have a while back. That was, obviously, a joke, but now I'm curious to see how many entries I CAN do in a minute... I won't do it, but I am curious. Hmmmm...

I hope everyone had a really lovely Christmas too! Much love to you all! I will probably update soon with my New Year's resolutions, or maybe some geeky shit about the year's movies and music. Or something. Consider this a warning!

Week 52: Father Xmas Week!

Woooo! Christmas is officially here, so how better to celebrate than with Benrik's glorious Father Xmas Week!? I've been looking forward to this one - the idea is simply to give out anonymours Christmas presents, so as to not recieve anything in return but a grand sense of goodwill on your behalf. Which is surely what Christmas is supposed to be about, goodwill and stuff. So, I dig this task.

During the day I went out with my friends Dave, Chloe, and Jon. I haven't seen them all in a while due to some strange turns of events recently. But oh well, that's all behind us now, so it was really nice to see them all again. Except that Jon and I were apparently on a quest to see who could wind each other up the most. I think he won, unfortuantely. We all went to see 'Avatar', which was bloody BRILLIANT! Sure, not James Cameron's best by a long shot, and filled with flaws. But at the same time, it looked beautiful, it was entertaining and inventive, the planet of Pandora was incredible, and it had one hell of a killer final action sequence. Not the masterpiece I wanted, but still completely solid. It's just best that I try to avoid arguing about it...

Before the motion picture spectacular, I went into town with Dave to buy Meg a Christmas present (a pink dressing gown with cows on it - because it's Christmas, I didn't find this embarassing to buy), got myself a few gifts too (I know I shouldn't, but come on - 'Guitar Hero III' for a tenner!), and to get THE gift. Oh yes, the anonymous Christmas present. Because I'm a very unoriginal little boy, I got one that was included in the book - M&S vouchers. Actually, it was a gift card, but they're the same thing. It wasn't just because I'm unoriginal though, but it just seemed like a really safe bet. I initially wanted to get a copy of 'This Book Will Change Your Life' for someone (which I can see other Benrikians have done, good work!), but worried I'd send it to somebody without a sense of humour. Although maybe it would help them develop a sense of humour. And if they didn't like it then they could just celebrate the 'Be entirely serious' day. But, yes, an M&S gift card seemed safe, because everyone likes M&S (except those who hate it), and you can buy a wide range of goods there, from clothes, to entertainment, to food, to alcohol! This blog entry is not sponsored by Marks & Spencers, honestly...

I went for a £5 gift card, which may seem stingy, but I've spent fucking LOADS this year on Crimbo presents as it is. I feel kinda bad, because £5 really doesn't buy anything these days. But, as they say, it's the thought that counts. I also went for a card design with a baby hugging a teddy bear. Because everyone likes babies, and everyone likes teddy bears. Unfortunately, I know a few people who don't like hugs, but everyone SHOULD like hugs! Inside I wrote the message 'Dear recipient of this gift card, 'tis the season to give generously, and even though I don't know you, I thought you might like this gift card. From anonymous xoxox'. I didn't know who to address the envelope to, but, so it wasn't blank, I just wrote 'Merry Christmas!' on the front. I bet you anything I chose people who celebrate Hannakuh or Kwanza or something. My bad.

Later on, I went out to deliver the gift. I decided to give it to a house that I had never seen before, because that way I can't have spent ages beforehand deciding where to send it in particular. There are a few cul-de-sacs near where I live which I'd never walked down before, so one of those seemed like a safe bet. I went for the first cul-de-sac, and spent AGES deciding which particular house to send it to. The houses were very big, which possibly meant they were all rich, and I'd feel oddly bad about giving a gift to people who don't really need it at all. But, then again, the house I live in is pretty big, yet we're not very rich at all, far from it. I eventually chose my house, on the basis that it had quite a lot of Christmas lights up and a crudely sculpted snowman outside (that doesn't mean it was phallic-shaped, I just mean that it was quite messy, in an endearing way though!), believing that this would probably mean that they enjoyed Christmas very much, and that they had children, and people with children lead happier lives apparently (except for when they get post-natal depression, but I'm just going off what I've heard about happiness). I'm sure I looked highly suspicious looking into people's houses, and dropping a letter off into one, all the time with my hood up (it was cold, and I wanted to be mysterious).

The best part was the walk home - I felt SO good, it was insane. Knowing that I've given a gift compeltely selflessly (well, apart from the happiness I felt) was a great feeling, I was smiling all the way home. Until I saw a slug, which made me recoil a little. But that little slimy bastard didn't ruin my night! When I got home, I raved about giving anonymous presents on my Facebook, and Chris liked the sound of it so much, that, even though he isn't tasking yet, has decided he'll probably give an anonymous gift this year too. I advise EVERYONE to do it, it is amazing!

And, with that, I would like to wish everyone who's reading this, and nearly everybody who isn't, a very happy Christmas/Hannakuh/Kwanza/other-festive-holiday! Much love to you all!

xoxox

Pre-Christmas Mini-Christmas Sleepover Extravaganza!

No tasking yesterday, but I love blogging about my days so I'm going to blog about it. Because it was an awesome day. Which was lovely. And definitely very awesome! Prepare for me to use that word a lot in the following entry...

It's the morning after sleeping over at Jay and Kate's. I wasn't feeling the best, I was slightly hungover and I didn't get very much sleep at all the night before, maybe an hour or two, if that? I dunno what time I fell asleep, so it doesn't matter really. I'll have to buy a sleepometor, a new device I just invented that somehow manages to calculate the exact time the user falls asleep for to the very second. I don't know why anyone would want this, but I do know that people probably would. To be fair, I'd be very curious. I may have to approach Dragon's Den with this one. I don't really sleep well anywhere that isn't my bed, and last night I was on the sofa, which was pretty comfy, but... y' know, it's just not quite my bed.

My grogginess aside, when Kate woke up we went upstairs (even though she was strictly speaking already upstairs, but she came downstairs after being upstairs) to go feed the babies. Well, Kate changed their nappies. It was hideous. How can such small people create such a huge amount of poo? Where do they store it? Disgusting, but somewhat incredible. I amused Annabelle very much, because she loves me for some weird reason, but I can never amuse Emily, she's a tough one. Meech and Chris joined a little later, and we watched 'Kung-Fu Panda' in the background. Which is, as the warrior panda may say himself, awesomeness.

We then went downstairs and, all in pyjamas in true Christmas spirit, opened our presents to and from each other. I got Jay a cuddly MRSA superbug virus, because I know she loves diseases (not actually contracting the diseases I hasten to add, she just finds them fascinating), and now she's obssessed with the GiantMicrobes range. I bought Chris THE Book. Yup, 'This Book Will Change Your Life'. We look forward to attempting some tasks together. Meech's present wasn't through yet unfortunately, but hopefully will be soon.

From Chris I got the 'Wanted' graphic novel, which I very much 'wanted' (HAHA, SO FUNNY!). I've only read bits so far, but it's awesome. Completely different from the film, and one of the most fucked-up things I've ever read. From Jay and Kate I got a notepad, which also doubles as a copy of 'Director' magazine, with my name emblazoned on the front (because I aspire to one day direct films), one of those personified things you can buy. Awesome! An early taste of future success! I will use it to keep all my film ideas and notes in. And from Meech I got 'Inglourious Basterds' on DVD, which is awesome because I absolutely LOVE that film. In fact, it's my second or third favourite film of the year, I haven't quite decided yet, but definitely one of the two! Wicked presents all around! Love you guys!

I then had to go home for a bit to look after Hannah, which was a bit annoying because I was missing out on fun at my second home, but didn't mind, it gave me a chance to have a shower, which was desperately needed for my hungover state, and play a bit of bass, because I hadn't had a chance to play it in a while.

Later I went back to Jay and Kate's for a bit. We planned to watch 'Love, Actually', but didn't get around to it. We instead just lazed around a bit, had chips and curry sauce, watched a documentary about an exploding whale, and then started watching a depressing documentary about the death of Michael Jackson. So, documentaries about death, basically. 'Love, Actually' may have been a bit more cheerful, but I've never seen it before, so maybe I'm being lead on to believe it's a super-happy film when it's actually the most depressing film of all time, and makes 'Requiem For A Dream' look like an episode of 'Tellytubbies'. I strongly doubt it, but at least now I'm prepared if it IS the most depressing film ever.

Later, when I got home, I gladly accepted bethwhowishes as my Benrik partner. Which is pretty exciting, and made me feel happy that someone wanted to be my Benrik partner. And we've since vowed to be better at it than any other Benrik partners. So beware!

All in all, life's great right now. In fact, I might even say that it's... What's the word?...

Awesome?

Sunday: Go to your local airport and scare people out of flying

Again, I didn't do my task again today (with pretty good reason, I like to think), so in a way there's no point blogging about it. But, as it is, right now, I'm addicted to blogging, and blogging about my tasking, or even lack thereof, gives me a good focal point. I was gonna say so that I don't ramble on too much, but seeing as I am currently rambling on ABOUT blogging, I guess that would be a moot point. So, I'll just explain my thought processes about this task, at least. I don't even know why I'm explaining this. I guess it seemed like an appropriate introduction before I started writing it...

I wasn't going to go down to my local airport full stop, because that would be pretty far away, I think it's Stanstead or something. Or maybe that small airport in Norwich that I think exists but I could be making up. Who knows? Either way, I didn't have the time or effort to physically go to an airport. And I DEFINITELY wasn't going to dress up like a terrorist whence I'd arrived there and display a selection of bombs around my midriff, like displayed in the book. I dunno, something about that just seems like a joke a little too far...

So, my idea was to merely send an e-mail to an airport (sending letters is how I task most days apparently) saying that I'd heard reports of a terrorist attack being planned on that airport, or, if I wanted to go for something a little more tame, say that I heard something was wrong with the planes. Like that the fellangis were missing or something. But I might not go for fellangis, might get caught out on that one. Although, in a way I suppose this task was super prophetic, seeing as how there are those strikes going on at British Airways, cancelling many people's flights. I'm not sure if they're happening right now, or a bit later, but either way I don't think I needed to ruin more poor people's holidays. British Airways staff have already done my tasking for me...

I didn't do it anyway, for I went to Jay and Kate's that night for our Pre-Christmas Mini-Christmas Sleepover Extravaganza (that's the official name, as of now...). That night, Jay, Kate, Meech, Chris, Benham, and Rosie all got very, VERY drunk and had an awesome night of craziness. There was Absinthe there, which tasted very horrible, but could easily collapse a horse with one sip. As it is, I'm apparently far more powerful than a horse (even though I'm a lightweight) because I managed a glass, but I really didn't need to drink anymore after that. Although I think I did have another glass of rum. Anyways, irrelevant! I accidentally bit my tongue doing my legendary 'Oh Look, A Head Is Sliding Up And Down On That Door Frame!' party trick, which was really embarassing. We played Waterfalls, which made me happy, and played drunken Twister, which got quite gay between me and Benham. There may be hidden feelings there... Also, on a more somber note, R.I.P. Brittany Murphy. I can't say I'm a huge fan of hers, but she voiced Luanne, one of my favourite characters in 'King Of The Hill', so I'd be lying to say that I didn't feel a bit sad. Plus, she is VERY good in 'Girl, Interrupted'.

To get back to my task, I didn't do it in the end. I planned to, but had no time during the day (although really can't remember why), and was far too drunk in the evening. So, not very good tasking, but will definitely work harder next year! So excited! 3 days 'til Christmas! 10 'til the new year! Exciting times ahead!

Saturday: Hang up people's mobile phones for them unless the conversation sounds useful to mankind

Straight up, I didn't do this task. At all. I meant to (I always mean to), but it just never came to fruition. I could defend myself and say that I was really tired after all my essaying. But that would be a lie, so I'm not going to say that. Even though i just did. At least I'm an honest liar...

To be honest, for most of the day I didn't even think about this task. I didn't even really do much at all on Saturday. I did have band practice during the day. I got a phone call in the morning from Craig, the vocalist/guitarist. I was sort of tempted to hang up the phone at any random point to accomplish my task, but I thought that would be rather rude, plus very inconvenient if I was receiving important news. Which I can't remember if I was or not. But regardless, I didn't do it, because I'd have just had to phone him up again, which would have kind of defeated the point of purposefully hanging up in the first place. However, I do regret not doing it anyway, just for the potential amusing confusion (amusion?) that could have stemmed from it.

Band practice went pretty well. There are usually a fair few inter-band arguments most weeks, but, for the most part, everyone was pretty chill this week. Which is good, because I'm totally not the argumentative type, unless my morals are challenged, so I can never really join in. Not that I'm saying I'd want to anyway. We attempted to learn 'Layla' by Derek and the Dominoes (my suggestion to cover, I love a bit of Clapton, as lame as that may, and probably does, make me). I should try and convince the band to somehow throw on the piano outro too, for that is my favourite part. It's kind of hard to learn without vocals (Craig couldn't sing and play guitar at the same time for this song), due to the stop-starty nature of the chorus. Still, fun as hell song, love the tom rolls during the verses, and just trying to go a little bit mental for the ending. Because that's rock 'n' roll.

That was probably very boring to read. My apologies! Kind of your own fault for reading it, but I'm very thankful regardless!

Later that day, I did see two girls walking around on their mobile phones. It was actually a bit like they were trying to tease me, they KEPT walking past me. I have the feeling they were looking for someone, but I don't know seeing as I was listening to my iPod. For all I know, they were totally exploiting the fact that I couldn't hear them. 'Hehe, we're walking past this speccy twat right now, repeatedly, he can't even hear us 'cos his music's on! WE HATE YOU AND ARE GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!' Or something like that. I guess I'll never know. I did feel it would have been a good oppertunity to hang up their calls for them, but, ultimately, it comes down to the fact that I didn't want to. I just wouldn't really feel comfortable at all hanging up their phones for them, or trying to convince them to do it themselves. They looked pretty chavvy too, and, being a geeky type, I figured it probably wouldn't have gone down too well. Besides, what's to say that they weren't actually arranging an environmentalist rally over the phone. I'll console myself by imagining that maybe I did help save the world by NOT hanging up their phones for them...