This one had me thinking all day. I was very nervous, but I'd always wanted to do a runner. I was scared. But I was super excited. Yes, it's as dramatic as it sounds! But it all seriousness, I genuinely was thinking about it all day. Chris and I had been planning this for a while. We knew where we were gonna strike - the Wimpy. We knew our course of action - run down the alleyway next to the restaurant. But we didn't know if we'd come back. Or if we'd never come back. Or if we'd even do it. Or if we'd come back alive.
Chris and I met up at quarter past 5, to make sure we had good time for Wimpying. I'd phoned the Wimpy earlier, just to check they were open, and, despite closing early due to the snowfall (damn you, snow! Damn you!), they were open 'til 6. So, we met up, got to the lovely little resturant, sat down, and realised just how damn nervous we were about it. I was shaking like crazy, and both of us were unsure about how it was gonna go. Our plan was to run out, run down the alley, go around in a bit of a loop, then come back later and say 'Just kidding' and pay up. Weren't sure if they'd see the funny side, but that was our plan. If we were gonna do it. The place was empty but for us and staff. We could do it...
Above: Our target.
But first, the food, of course (heheh, course! So funny!) The runner etiquette included in the Book recommended against having a heavy meal before running, but Chris and I got full blown meals anyway. He got a bacon and egg roll with chips and Earl Grey (very classy!), he'd been trying to get a bacon sarnie for ages, since just before the new year I think, so he was stoked he finally got it! I got an unfortunately named Bender in a Bun with chips and orange juice. Our meals were fucking lovely. We forgot about running during our meals and conversations about other stuff beside running (hence why we forgot about it). But then, when the meal was finished, the time had arrived.
We wasted a little time by considering desserts, which we told the waitress too. But then, as she walked away into a back room and the restuarant was completely vacant save for a customer with her back to us, the timing was perfect. Chris looked at me. "Let's go for it!" "Are you sure!" "Yes, now!" So, we quickly grabbed our stuff, strolled out of the shop, and, laughing like idiots, ran like fuck down the alley, carefully avoiding the very slippery drain down the centre. We turned the corner, and then... The waitresses were there.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Nah, I'm fuckin' wit' ya! I will continue now. We actually didn't think about how the back of the alley is where the back of the Wimpy was. The two waitresses emerged, I think they were having a cigarette break. With all the subtlety of a sledgehammer named 'Big Motherfucker', we loudly gasped "It's them! Turn around!" We turned around. But I dropped one of my gloves. I bent down to pick it up, then ran again. We ran back into the Wimpy, which was still incredibly vacant but for the woman with her back to us, and sat down casually. A member of staff emerged, and... didn't do anything. The two waitresses eventually emerged and... didn't do anything. Holy shit! We genuinely think they had no idea it was us. The other member of staff was none the wiser. We could have totally gotten away with it! But, being the gentlemen we are, we payed up, and left on a high note.
Literally, high. The adrenaline was insane. I don't think I've ever giggled so maniacally before. It was one of the maddest things I've ever done, and we both loved it. We think we've got a taste for it now and should genuinely try it for sometime in the future. WITHOUT PAYING! But only if the staff are as stupid as they were in the Wimpy. Although we're glad we did go back, turned out Chris left his coat in there. Chris and I were both incredibly proud, and proclaimed it best task so far!
We then went to Jay and Kate's, where Rosie and James, aka Mr. Small, were there for a while. But, literally, like half an hour. Again, I can't remember most of the night. I ate a lot of Refreshers bars. And made a vagina candle. And was shaking like crazy all night and felt weird, maybe the adrenaline was still flowing. Chris went after a while, and Jay, Kate and I played cards. Then Kate went to bed, Jay and I resumed playing cards, listened to lots of tunes, and stayed up chatting until about 7 in the morning. It was insane how late we stayed up, but I had an awesome time. I always do. But everything's even better when you've got the adrenaline of doing a runner pumping through your veins. Seriously, who needs energy drinks when you can save a LOT of money by doing a runner?
Above: The vagina candle, a work of art.
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