Having been up until ridiculous o'clock the previous night, I had a nice, long sleep, and vowed I would do next to nothing on this day, Monday 11th. Apart from my task of course. So, I did. It kind of fucked with me, to be honest. My OCD tells me to do things in certain orders, and today I chose to ignore it and just relax. But it leaves me really wound up to ignore what I think I should do, or something like that, hard to explain really, but either way, it left me quite unrelaxed despite my doing nothing.
Regardless, I DID do my task. I'd put up a Facebook status asking if anyone had a CB radio the week before, but I didn't get any serious replies, so I gave up on trying that before I even properly tried. Hey, I dunno how else to get a CB radio! Googling it would be a stupid idea... Anyways, my plan was quite basic - to simply go out into a (preferrably) vacant field, and yell at the sky at the top of my lungs. I waited for darkness to fall, as movies have taught us that aliens only ever strike at nighttime, thus I assume they are probably sleeping during the day. Plus, said field was more likely to be empty and there was the oppertunity to wake people up with ear-splitting obscenities, which is always a laugh.
In all seriousness, it was only around 8 that I did it, so I doubt anyone was asleep. Especially not those nocturnal aliens! Anyways, I needed an excuse to leave the house (beyond tasking, of course), and Yop was it. You see, I've been searching far and wide in shops for Yop for ages now. But, alas, the beautiful yoghurt drink was nowhere to be found. Until I remembered that the local Spar shop sells it, and that I get to pass a field en route up there. So go for Yop I did, stopping on the field for my celestial insulting.
I got there. There was no one around. There were houses nearby, but I didn't care. This was aimed at the aliens, not humans. I cupped my hands around my mouth, and yelled at the top of my lungs "Fuck you, you green motherfuckers!". Inspired by a similar line in N.W.A.'s seminal 'Fuck Tha Police'. Now, you could see my insult as being racist, but I assure there was no hateful racism intended. The point was to gain a reaction after all, and sometimes you have to play dirty. Alas, there was no reaction. Maybe they were still sleeping. I stuck my middle finger up at them too as a final insult.
Above: If you look very carefully, you can see some aliens swearing back. Possibly.
Not long after I did this, a woman turned the corner and walked past me. She surely must have heard me, my throat hurt from how loud I yelled. It obviously wasn't loud enough to stir the aliens though. Afterwards, I headed to the shop, got me some beautiful Yop, and returned home. The Yop was great, though needed to be colder, it truly is best served chilled. I also got a massive migraine this night, but powered through it, to talk to the lovely Jay on the phone for a bit, and later on MSN. Maybe this migraine was the aliens taking revenge for me upsetting them? Maybe they did hear me...
*'X-Files' theme tune plays*
No comments:
Post a Comment